Page 66 of Win My Heart

I shake my head.

“I could be crasser,” he says, “but I’m in the presence of a lady. Even if said lady was not acting very ladylike last night.”

I laugh. “Oh my god. Shut up.”

“So you two a thing now?” He spins in his own chair. His isn’t custom, but it’s a nice model. Last year, before Ben left, our team received custom-designed chairs. Ben took his with him to Cali, so Matt got stuck with an older model, but it’s still a good chair.

With a big sigh, I offer the most generic answer I can give. “It’s complicated.”

I realize that Matt probably isn’t the best candidate to confide in. He raises a brow, but I don’t want to elaborate.

“I don’t see how it’s complicated.” He takes a sip of his coffee and leans back into his chair, getting comfortable.

“Are you sure you want to have this conversation?” I ask him with a “let’s not go there” look. Who wants to talk about their crush’s love life… with their crush?

“Look, Bernie. You know I’ve had a crush on you since the start. You’re a fucking snack. If you’d give me a chance, I could die a happy man. But I also know that this team is super important and that you want to preserve the tightness of the group. So while I like to joke and flirt, I know snagging you up just isn’t in the cards for me. I’ve accepted that.”

I study him for a moment before I answer. He’s actually capable of having a mature, adult conversation.

So I take him at his word and share my complicated conundrum.

“We’ve been seeing each other for the past few months. But really, it’s a secret. He’s not ready to tell Dex. I’m not exactly sure why, but until he tells him, it’s dinner dates in my apartment.” I cringe, because saying it out loud doesn’t paint Wade in the best light.

Matt glares at me. “So you’re a secret hookup?”

“No. I mean, yes. Ugh.” I bury my face in my hand. “We didn’t actually hook up until last night, so…”

“Ha! I knew I heard you two bumping uglies.” He points at me.

I groan. “I’m already embarrassed. Must you continue to rub it in my face even more?”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

I peek up at him from behind my hand, and his face is laced with concern. “What’s that look for?” I ask.

“I’m just not loving the fact that he’s hiding you. If you were mine, I’d want to share it with the world, but this fool doesn’t want anyone to know about you.” His tone is harsh, but he’s not completely wrong.

“It’s not that he doesn’t want anyone to know. It’s that he’s not ready to tell his brother,” I try to explain.

He just blinks slowly at me, then blinks again.

“What?” I draw out the word.

“So who else knows about you two being ‘complicated’?” he challenges, using air quotes when he says complicated.

“Ruby knows. I don’t know how, but she for sure knows.”

“So he isn’t ready to tell Dex, and no one else can know because it might get back to him? Sounds like a secret to me.” Matt isn’t saying anything new here, but hearing my insecurities validated hurts all the same.

“How do you handle his indifference toward you when you’re hanging out with the group?” he continues. “’Cause I’ll be honest, if I didn’t know how easy it is to make him jealous when it comes to you, I wouldn’t have known. He doesn’t send you bedroom eyes.”

“Bedroom eyes? Really?”

He rolls his eyes. “My point is that when you two are in public, he’s not doing a damn thing to show anyone that you’re his.” He taps his temple.

“Look, you’re making Wade out to be a bad guy. He isn’t at all. He’s just struggling with taking our relationship public with his brother. It could get messy if things between us don’t work out. The same thing happened when Gia and Simon worked through their past issues, and Link and Ruby went from constantly one upping each other to being in love. When you’ve got a tight-knit group like this, you have to tread lightly.”

He doesn’t look convinced, so I continue.

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