Page 40 of Fragile Heart

CHAPTER16

Hudson

Fuck.Fuck. Fuck.

It’s the only word I can think of as I make my way back to my house after leaving Quinn’s.

She was engaged.Engaged.She was ready to commit her life to someone. And hearing those words come out of her mouth scared the shit out of me because it made me insanely jealous.

Me.

Hudson Porter.

Jealous of a dead guy.

I’ve never been a jealous person. I literally couldn’t care less what the women in my life do. But the thought of Quinn with another man makes me irrationally angry. Especially since the guy isn’t even alive anymore.

God, I’m an asshole. Quinn lost someone she was in love with, and I’m over here jealous that another man put a ring on her finger—at some point, years before I met her.

And how can she have something so terrible happen to her but still keep a smile on her face every damn day? I’ve never seen Quinn not happy. She’s always trying to see the bright side of things and make everyone around her feel better. Yet, here she is, having lived through such a tragedy, and she’s still a ray of fucking sunshine.

As this unwanted jealousy grows inside me, all I can think about was how I wanted to lay her down, fuck her on the god-awful floral couch, and claim her as mine. I had to get out of there before I did something I knew I’d regret. Like making her scream my name on her dead fiancé’s birthday. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with me.

I groan as I run my fingers through my hair and tug on the ends in pure frustration.

I need a drink.

I immediately stop in my tracks on the dark sidewalk. I know I’m maybe only a block away from this town’s one and only bar. It would be so easy to take a detour and stop in for a drink before heading home.

I shouldn’t do it. I know I shouldn’t. I relapsed a few weeks ago, and I felt like shit afterward. I don’t want to do it again. I don’t want to be the stupid, drunk playboy everyone thinks I am. I want to prove them all wrong.

But that’s the thing about addiction. It doesn’t always matter what the right choice is. Sometimes the need trumps everything.

And man, what I wouldn’t do to feel the burn of some tequila sliding down my throat.

My feet instinctively turn to face the town. But I stop, bringing my fist to my mouth and biting my knuckles.

“Fuck!” I yell a little louder than I intended to. I need to call my sponsor. I need him to talk me down. I pull my phone out of my pocket and see a text from Quinn.

Quinn: Thanks for hanging with me tonight. I always enjoy your company :)

I exhale and tilt my head back, feeling my body relax just from reading her text. I don’t respond because I don’t know if I’ll say the wrong thing with my headspace right now.

I pull up the text thread I have with my sponsor.

Hudson: Can you talk? Having a rough night.

Within seconds, my phone is lighting up with his name. As soon as I answer the call, I feel the weight lifted off me, and I turn back and start heading toward my house. I know I’m not going to the bar tonight. I know I’m better than that.

* * *

I don’t see Quinn over the next few days. We’re both working, and honestly, I don’t know what to say to her. At first, I wanted to just be friends with her. I mean, she’s one of the only people I know who talks to me like a real person. She doesn’t just let me have my way, and she truly listens when I talk.

But now I want more. Whenever she talks, I can’t take my eyes off her lips because I’m dying to know what she tastes like. I want to touch her all the time, in any way I can.

Now that I know she hasn’t dated since her exdied,I don’t know how to act. I thought she was single because there are slim pickings in this tiny-ass town, but that was clearly wrong. She hasn’t dated because she hasn’t been emotionally ready.

I’ve been waiting on the right person.

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