Page 43 of His Promise

COLTER

“Don’t trust him.” The words fly from my mouth before Abi can finish what she’s saying.

Her brow furrows, and she rubs her hands up and down her arms like she’s cold. She also did that sporadically in the car. I take off my suit jacket and hand it to her, holding my tongue instead of asking why she didn’t bring her own, and then I take a seat at the kitchen table in my condo. She drove here before the Gruco dinner instead of letting me pick her up.

She eyes the jacket in her hands and then tentatively puts it on. It swallows her up so that only a sliver of her white sundress shows.

“I didn’t say I trusted him,” she adjusts herself in the chair. “I said, I don’t think Lorenzo knows you’re lying to him… There’s a difference.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t care what he said to you. Don’t let your guard down.”

“I won’t. With any of you.”

I let out a wry laugh. “Really? This is where we’re at?”

“Why would you not tell me you and Carmen used to be a thing? I was completely blindsided by it, Colter, andthatwas something Lorenzo could tell.”

“Carmen?” With a shake of my head, I press my hands on the table and lean toward Abi. My frustration is growing. “Carmen is nothing but a childhood friend. Lorenzo was probably testing to see if you’d lie and pretend to know about something that doesn’t exist.”

She eyes me skeptically like she thinks I’m lying.

“What is it?” I snap.

“There was never anything between you two? She seemed awfully protective…”

“Because she was like a sister to me growing up. It’s repulsive to even think of her any other way.” I roll my eyes. “Why are we even talking about this?”

She looks away and begins drumming her fingers on the tabletop. Her teeth sink into her lip. When she meets my eyes again, she changes the subject.

“Are you sure we can’t just explain to them what happened? I know they’re criminals, but they seem to genuinely love you, Colter.” She squints at me like I’ve done something wrong. “You made it seem like you hardly know them.”

Un-fucking-believable. I inhale a breath and close my eyes, bringing a hand to my face to rub the tension from my temples. She doesn’t get it. No matter how many times I try to explain it to her, she doesn’t get it.

“Idon’tknow them,” I say, opening my eyes and resting my forearm on the table. “And they don’t know me. They put on a show for you, Abi. They’re probably trying to make you feel like you’re one of them so you don’t go to the police… Trust me, the only reason you’re alive is because they need me.”

Her eyes never seem to relax, and she squints at me until my skin begins to crawl.

I hate this.

I hate bringing another person into my life.

I hate that I stepped foot in that house tonight.

And most of all, I hate that I didn’t hate being there.

Pain spreads through my lungs, and I realize I’ve stopped breathing. I force myself to pull in air and hold on to the resentment trapped inside me, the anger. It’s what I’ve counted on year after year to hold myself together, to stand strong, even when I feel weak.

Because weakness is unacceptable.

And yet, it’s coming out of me anyway.

“Why are you lying?”

Abi’s question digs into me and antagonizes the animal that’s already stirring. She’s reading me. I’ve spent most of my life camouflaging my emotions, and it’s all coming undone because of a single woman I can’t seem to hide from.

I drum my fingers on the table, my lips glued shut.

“Colter, please,” Abi says, her narrowed eyes finally softening. She reaches across the table and places her hand on mine. “Talk to me. I’m not going to tell anyone you’re connected to them by anything other than blood. I won’t say a word, I promise…”

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