Page 8 of Honey and Spice

“Brown Sugaris already one of the most popular media platforms on campus—”

“Your base is commendable. Decent. Loyal. I’ve seen the numbers. But there is still room to grow. It’s a great show but there’s plenty of ways to improve it, if you want to. It might be worth doing some sort of survey to find out why the people who don’t listen, don’t listen.”

I nodded and sat up. “Okay. I mean, of course, I’ll do what I can to lift up the ratings, but surely, it’s not my job tochaselisteners, right? They’re either with me or they’re not. I can’t contort myself into something I’m not—”

Dr. Miller smiled, a genteel glimmer of a sword. It told me she was about to sweetly read me, drag me, or both. “Kikiola.” The force of my full name informed me that I was right. “Media is about staying true to your voice, of course, but it’s also about interacting with the people you’re communicating with. It’s not about talkingat,it’s talking to, with.

“What do people want? How can it align with what you’re trying to achieve? Are you generating conversation or just providing didactic answers? You may have blind spots—in fact, I know that you do—especially when it comes to opening up to other people.”

I usually didn’t mind Dr. Miller exercising the operative word in “personal tutor,” but for some reason, in this instance, it jarred. Couldn’t she just awkwardly ask me how I’m coping with university and shove some pamphlets about student alcoholism my way, like a regular one?

“Dr. Miller, I work in groups all the time in seminars!”

Dr. Miller raised a brow. “Kiki, when you’re put in a group, you don’t give space for other people’s ideas.”

“But in our mass media presentation Harry suggested that books should have the ability to be ingested through a serum we inject. It was worrying. Also we need to talk about the counselling system in this school—”

“It was out-of-the-box thinking. Why don’t we question traditionalmodes of information? It was worth discussing, even if you did conclude that it lent itself too easily to eugenics and indoctrination.” Her lips were a wry slant. “Another issue is that you do all the work and divide it among the group.”

“I do n—”

“I know your voice, and I hardly think a Patricia Hill Collins quote is coming from Percy. Kiki, I really want to be able to put you forward for this program. You’re the perfect candidate. But I also want to see all you can be for it, and that means challenging yourself.Brown Sugarcan be bigger, and I think that may include figuring out how you can work with the needs of your community.”

My shoulders slumped and I sat back in my chair. This wasn’t a stipulation, this was a glitch, a catch,like,yesyou have free tickets to a Drake concert but you have to listen to white dudebros rapping in your ear at a party for three hours straight beforehand. The formulaworked.People wrote in and I responded—how else could I work with my community?

I sighed. “Dr. Miller, I hope I don’t sound arrogant here, but I know what I’m doing withBrown Sugar. I’m good at it. Can’t I figure out some other way to boost ratings?”

Dr. Miller’s coppery-brown tinted lips pulled into a subtle smirk. “Kiki, it’s not arrogant to know what you’re good at. It’s arrogant to think you don’t need to grow. Find out what more you can do for your people. I know you’ll find a creative way to do it. I mean, every seminar you find a way to call Percy the same thing using different words.” She sipped her coffee, hiding her tongue in her cheek.

I tried to balance my elation that she believed in me with the fact that she was basically asking me to do the impossible.Brown Sugarwas my space. Yeah, I shared it with other people, but I was safe behind it. Inviting other people’s opinions meant it was likely to fall out of my control, become messier. It meantIcould mess up. I wasn’t in the habit of doing that.

Dr. Miller smiled widely. “What a sweet look of torment on your face. Look, I have something fun that could help. The student in my other seminar—”

Ah, my nemesis.

“—is working on a new film. I’m their personal tutor too. They came to me asking if I thought the film was a good idea, and I do. They’re just missing something, and I think talking to you would help them. Likewise, I think you talking to them might help you come up with ideas to reach people. They’re personable, friendly—”

“Dr. Miller, are you saying that I’m n—”

“You’re a delight, Kikiola, but people use consultants in media all the time. This student is bright and sharp. They’re also new, so I think you would be able to help them settle in. This person is different from your fellow seminar students, they’re more... your wavelength. You’ll work well together—”

“Oh, so they’re Black?”

Dr. Miller ignored me, possibly because answering that question would have risked her suspension. “I’ll email you some of their work. I think you’ll find it interesting.”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, prickling a little at my phantom academic nemesis. I wondered if she could pull off sideboob? Probably. It was tragic, perhaps, but school was my thing, my skill at it an anchor, and now, apparently, I needed a helper to achieve my goals.

Dr. Miller’s amber-brown eyes filled with warmth as she assessed me. “I want you to go to New York for this program, Kikiola, and I really want to be able to give you the best shot of getting there. Give it a chance.”

I wasn’t sure if Dr. Miller really liked me or secretly hated my guts. Why go out of my way to entangle myself with other people when I was doing fine by myself? This was my fault for choosing a liberal arts university inEngland.Who does that? It’s not even the norm and now, because I didn’t choose to do biochemistry or law like a good Nigerian daughter,I had to suffer through some kind of holistic abstract learning experience with a stranger?! Put me through a tort tournament,please.Maybe this was actually my parents’ fault. Their understanding and relative liberalness gave me the freedom to opt for a degree I’d enjoy rather than one that would set their mind at ease. Quite shortsighted of them to value my happiness. Being a lawyer wouldn’t even have been that bad. Sure, my soul might have become a calcified husk, but I would look great in a formal pencil skirt. I have a great butt.

“The deadline for the application is January. You have plenty of time. I’m looking forward to what you come up with forBrown Sugar.” Dr Miller silenced any potential questions by putting her coffee down for the last time. “That’s enough for today. Enjoy your student party tonight. And thank you for not bringing me a flat white.”

“It wasn’t my pleasure at all.”

She lifted her empty cup in salute.

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