Page 93 of For You & No One Else (Say Everything 3)

He made a sound of disbelief and put his hands out to his sides. “Have you met me?”

She winced.

“I have no social media or internet presence. I’m part of a group that has parties without phones,” he said. “Have you ever considered that I protect my privacy for a reason? That it might be vitally important to me?”

She frowned as if no, that thought really hadn’t occurred to her. “I thought it was just because of what you see at your job. Is there something else?” Her eyes widened a little. “Oh shit, are you hiding from the law or something?”

He shook his head and ran a hand over his face, feeling really, really tired all of a sudden. “You know, part of me wondered why you agreed to this. Why last night you were all of a sudden okay with me not being open to marriage or kids, why you changed course on what kind of guy you wanted in your life.” He looked at her, the door that had opened for her inside him now slamming shut. “But now I get it. It’s material.I’mmaterial. This is just some kind of fucked-up experiment. A way to get a book deal and some attention and maybe get laid every now and then, too.”

She reared back like he’d hit her, hurt flashing in her eyes. “Are you being serious? You think I’m with you as an act?”

His fists clenched at his sides. “Sure looks that way. It all makes sense now. Why else would you agree to this?”

“Beck,” she said, exasperation in her voice. “Yesterday, I called you to break it off. What good would that have been for the book?”

“A nice dramatic chapter.”

“Oh, come on,” she said, anger leaking into her voice now. “I get that you’re upset—and yes, I should’ve told you—but do you think I’d put myself through this for a damn book?”

“Put yourself through this,” he said flatly. “Sorry it’s been such a trial.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” she said, lobbing the words at him like a missile. “I’ve turnedmy whole planupside down because of you. Look at how stupid I’m being. You’re twenty-five and have no interest in pursuing something long-term. If it were one of my clients telling me this story, I’d tell her to run.I know betterthan this. But I put myself out there last night anyway,knowingyou’re going to break my heart,knowingthat I already feel too much for you. But doing it anyway because—”

“Because it makes for a good story,” he said, a bitter edge in his voice.

Her fists balled, her eyes getting shiny, and she looked away. “No. Because I’m falling in love with you, and I thought maybe it’d be better to have that experience in my life, even if it’s brief, than never feeling like that for anyone ever. Because at least then I’ll know how it feels to get that excited just to simply be around someone, to feel that fire in my chest. Because I’ve never felt with anyone else what I feel with you.”

I’m falling in love with you.Her words tore at him with claws, but his anger was too hot, too fresh, to accept them. “Guess I’m fulfilling the role you assigned me then. This will make a great entry in the book. How the younger guy who can’t commit let you down.”

The vulnerable look on her face disappeared in a flash, a hardness coming into her still teary eyes. “I didn’t assign you that role, Beckham. You gave yourself that label because it keeps you safe. You’ve convinced yourself that you’resoalternative. That it’s philosophical for you.” She swiped roughly at her cheek where a tear had escaped. “Oh, you don’t believe in marriage or kids because blah, blah, blah. You know, I bought that for a while, thought maybe there were some genuine reasons you felt that way, but that’s not it, is it? At the end of the day, you’re just like any other dude who wants the benefit of having a woman around but not the hard, emotional work of a genuine relationship. You don’t want to actually put out effort for it. You’re not edgy, Beckham. You’re just immature and scared.”

Angry heat rushed through him, shades of his last fight with Jess surfacing, her words echoing.Be a man. Be a man and take care of me.

Eliza flicked her hand toward her desk. “And no, I shouldn’t have written about you without your permission. I’m genuinely sorry about that. But we could’ve talked about it, hashed it out, addressed the issue like adults. Instead, you hack my goddamned computer, get mean, and pick a fight, which means you want an out. You slept on it and changed your mind about what you said last night and are looking for a reason to justify backing out. Well,”—she swept her arm out in front of her—“don’t let me stop you on your way out the door. I deserve to be with someone who will give me the benefit of the doubt, who will ask questions before accusing me of things. I was willing to bend a lot to be with you, but I’m not bending on that. I deserve more than that.”

What he heard wasI deserve more than you. He couldn’t agree with her more. He’d been in over his head with Eliza from the start. He’d been fooling himself to think they could find some happy spot in the middle.Live in the space between—what a joke.

“Yeah, I guess you do. And I deserve someone who doesn’t see me as a fun project to write about,” he said. “That’s all I’ve been this whole time, isn’t it?”

She opened her mouth, but he beat her to it.

“You know why you don’t know my reasons behind why I don’t want marriage and a family?”

She crossed her arms as he stepped closer.

He bent down and met her gaze. “Becauseyou never really wanted to know.You think you’re falling in love with me?” He shook his head, straightening. “You don’t evenknowme. The therapist, the woman who knows all the ways to get someone to open up, didn’t pushat allbecause you’d already created the image of who I was in your head, the role I would play in your story, and you didn’t want anything to mess with that narrative. You liked theideaof me. The twentysomething commitment-phobe is such a neat, easy stereotype. That’s all I ever really was to you—a project.”

“Beckham.”

“You ever considered that it’s you who’s scared?” he asked. “I bet every date you’ve gone on, you’ve already decided who the guy was by the end of it and how he would let you down. You expect people to disappoint you. To leave you.”

Her eyes shone with tears even though her stance stayed closed and angry.

“And if they don’t, you push them away first. You tried to get rid of me last night.” He pointed at her desk. “And you wrote up an insurance policy just in case. Because you’re smart, Eliza. And you knewexactlyhow I’d feel about that book. You wrote our end from the start, guaranteeing the demise not just of our relationship but of our friendship. That way you can prove you’re right. People always let you down or leave you. The guys you’ve dated. Your parents. You’re the victim. Unlucky in love and life. That’s the story you hang your hat on.”

Tears tracked down both her cheeks now, but her jaw was clenched and her arms were crossed so tight, her knuckles were white.

Seeing her like that made his chest hurt, but he needed to get the words out. “I don’t believe in marriage because I’ve already had one that failed spectacularly.”

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