Page 104 of For You & No One Else (Say Everything 3)

Beckham cleared his throat, alerting Jess to their presence. She quickly put the frame back on the side table. Eliza walked around the couch to sit in one of the chairs and saw that Jess had been crying again. Jess swiped at her cheeks and peered at Beckham. Her voice was a whisper when it came out. “You’ve built a whole new life. Without me.”

Beckham’s gaze filled with a stark sadness. “I’m sorry, Jess. I’m not coming back. My life is…good here. Stable. Even happy sometimes.” He glanced at Eliza and then back to Jess. “I want that for you, too, but I can’t be the one to give you that.”

“Jess,” Eliza said, voice soft.

Jess turned her head and gave Eliza a look full of suspicion, but she didn’t say anything.

Eliza pressed her hands to the top of her knees, centering herself. One wrong move and she could send Jess running. This was outside of her specialty, but if she could just make sure the girl was safe in the short-term, she could get her to someone more qualified for the long-term. “Jess, I know you don’t know me and have no reason to trust me, but I can see you’re in pain and I’d like to help if you’re willing to let me. Beck—Mattwould like to help, too.”

“I don’t need help. I need my husband back,” Jess said, her voice breaking a little at the end. She pulled the throw pillow back into her lap.

“I understand. Sometimes when our pain is really intense, when it feels like it’s pushing on us from every side, it makes our vision narrow down to a pinpoint where we can only see one, maybe two ways out of the pain,” Eliza said, keeping her tone. “Would you say getting Matt back feels like one of those solutions?”

Jess glanced at Beckham. “It is the solution.”

Eliza nodded. “I know it feels that way. But Matt—Beckham—has chosen a different life for himself, and he has the right to do that. He is a healthier person because of that choice. Leaving the church was an act of self-care for him, and as someone who knows him in this life, I can tell you he’s become a really kind and amazing man.” She peeked at Beckham, and the way he was looking at her made her chest tighten. She looked back to Jess, trying to catch her gaze. “We all have that right—to choose the path where we can be our healthiest and happiest.”

Jess held the eye contact for a second before looking down and picking at the piping of the throw pillow.

Eliza tread carefully. “If you feel like your life will be happiest in the church, it’s your right to stay there.” Beckham gave her a what-the-hell look but she ignored it. “Just like Beckham made his choice, you can make yours. But if you’re not fully happy there, if you’re not finding comfort and peace, if you feel like you don’t have freedom to be the person you want to be, then you have more options than you might be able to see right now.”

Jess shook her head. “I don’t have options. I have no husband and no one else will take me as their wife. I don’t have my own money. I didn’t go to college.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I cry all the time. I just want it to stop. I’ve thought about…pills.”

Beckham sat next to Jess and put his arm around her.

Eliza’s heart broke for the girl. “Do you have access to pills?”

She nodded, crying again. “In my purse.”

Beckham sent Eliza a worried look.

A means and a plan. Eliza didn’t have a choice now, but she hoped to get Jess where she needed to go willingly. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Jess. That pain is a lot to carry. You’ve been through trauma, and your body and mind haven’t been given the tools to process it. The depression is telling you there are no options, but it lies. That’s what it does. But I promise you there are people who can help you through this. You won’t always have to feel this way.”

“And if you need money, Jess,” Beckham said, “I can help you. I can help you get a place, get on your feet.”

“We want you to be safe, first and foremost,” Eliza said, appreciating Beckham’s generous spirit, but knowing that Jess wasn’t in a stable enough state to just leave the cult and strike out on her own. There was a lot of work to be done first. “And you don’t have to make any decisions about the church. All that’s important right now is that we get you some help for the pain, okay? We can take you to a doctor. Get some help.”

Jess lifted her head and looked to Beckham, a cornered-animal expression on her face. “Matt.”

“It’s okay,” Beckham said, his tone reassuring. “Eliza is one of the smartest and most kindhearted people I know. I trust her completely and so can you. If she says she can help, she can.”

His words and unequivocal vote of confidence made Eliza’s eyes burn.

Jess looked to Eliza, her gaze evaluating.

Eliza was already calculating how quickly she could grab her phone and call 911 if Jess tried to run. But finally, Jess’s shoulders sagged and she nodded. “Okay. What do I need to do?”

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