Page 96 of Born in Depravity

CATALINA

I didn’t getto go outside that day, but Nikolay promised he would come back for me as soon as he was able.

He spent most of the day with me in the room. When he left, he shot me a small smile and told me to be good.

I looked forward to the day I could walk out of the room.

I was experiencing cabin fever, but the fact that Mikhail came to me that night made it better.

Of all the men, I spent the most time with Mikhail.

He was also the most affectionate toward me, and I could feel myself relaxing with him as more and more days passed. I didn’t hate it when he bathed me, or when he fed me, and I didn’t hate it when he touched me.

Father would have been so disappointed in me if he knew my thoughts.

That didn’t stop me from thinking, and in fact, I was finding it easier to rebel against my father in thoughts and actions.

I might have loved him once.

He was my father, after all.

But he killed Mom. He killed her, and he didn’t have even an ounce of remorse. I knew because he told me he didn’t. Many times.

I always thought he enjoyed seeing the pain in my eyes whenever he mentioned Mom. And he was going to sell me to that terrible old man.

I didn’t love him anymore.

I hated him.

But I was fighting against twenty-two years of trained obedience.

It was easier in Mikhail’s arms at night. When he held me, I didn’t feel shame. I didn’t feel anything but a craving for him to hold me closer and closer still.

I craved Mikhail’s affection, Damien’s protection, and even Nikolay’s excitement.

I craved them all.

There was something wrong with me. I shouldn’t be fascinated by this many men, especially not bythesemen.

But I was.

One day, I propped myself on my arms in the bed when the door opened in the late afternoon, and Mikhail walked into the room. For some reason, he seemed tired today.

I didn’t know why that was, but a huge part of me wanted to be helpful. He lay down on the bed next to me, turning sideways so that he could look at me.

I lay back down too.

I blinked at him.

He didn’t say anything. And he didn’t seem to be in a rush to do anything, so I carelessly let my eyes trace over his features.

He had deep blue eyes that reminded me of the ocean—my very favorite feature of his.

I had never been to the ocean, but I had such an intense yearning to go right now, I didn’t know what to make of it.

His eyes were surrounded by thick, dark blond eyelashes that should have made him appear feminine. My eyes slid down his hard, tall frame. There was nothing feminine about Mikhail.

When my eyes moved back up to his face, there was a glint in his eyes that I was completely entranced by.

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