Page 90 of Born in Depravity

Nikolay seemed to know, though, because with another laugh, he brought his hand down to my butt, cupping the cheek before squeezing it.

I closed my eyes, the feeling of something heavy weighing down in my stomach and further down was back.

Not knowing what to do with my hands, I carefully placed them on his hard shoulder blades while he touched me. He moved his hand down further, between the crease of my cheeks.

My fingers dug into the skin of his back.

He massaged me there, and I bit my lips, not wanting to make any noise.

“Fuck, baby. I can still remember how it felt when I spanked you. How hard I got at the sight of your pale skin turning red from my hands. Do you know how many times I got myself off from that image alone?”

I let out a small whimper and buried my face in his neck.

I didn’t want to hear about that. And I especially didn’t want to hear about how excited he got spanking me. I could feel a blush coming over my face, and I didn’t want him to know.

He gave me another mean chuckle before he pulled his hand away and placed it on the small of my back.

Thank God.

He didn’t do anything, and I wished I could read his mind to figure out what he was thinking now. He pulled me tighter against him and I stilled.

“Good girl,” he said.

I frowned.

I didn’t want to be his good girl. I didn’t want to be anything. But I didn’t fight him either, because if I’d thought Damien scared me, it was nothing compared to this bomb holding me.

Seconds later, he opened his laptop and got to work with me still sitting in the same position.

I got the feeling he’d only placed me like this so I wouldn’t see what he was working on.

Was that to protect him or … to protect me?

I didn’t know which scenario I hoped for. If it was to protect me, then that meant he was doing things on the computer that would scare me if I looked. And if it was to protect him, that meant he didn’t trust me. It meant he could turn against me at a snap of his fingers.

Trust meant very little between us.

I didn’t trust him either, so I didn’t know why I didn’t like the thought that he didn’t trust me. I wasn’t the one with all the power.

I was nothing more than a pet on a leash, I thought bitterly.

Nikolay’s fingers ran across the screen as he typed something.

And after a while, when I realized he wasn’t going to do anything more than hold me, I found myself going lax in his arms.

The more time passed, the more I could relax.

My guard was down, and I could feel my eyelids growing heavy.

That was my mistake.

I didn’t realize he had stopped working on his computer. The click, click, click of the keys had stopped, and silence permeated the room. It took a while for my brain to actually catch up to what was happening.

I realized a second too late, when I suddenly found myself pushed down on the mattress on my back, and Nikolay looming over me. My leg muscles tensed, but I couldn’t move them much since he was still sitting between them.

My eyes widened as I took him in.

He smiled at me.

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