Page 162 of Born in Depravity

CATALINA

Three days passed in a blur,and I was going crazy.

One prison to the next and to the next, which was what this hotel room was starting to feel like.

I might have a little more freedom than I did at Father’s house, and more than I did at Petrov’s house, but I was still stuck here, and it was getting to me.

Damien was off with who knew what. I thought I heard Mikhail mention someone named Gabriel, and I didn’t know why I felt relieved it wasn’tGabriella.

Mikhail was stuck running the legitimate side of his business, as he told me, so he didn’t have a lot of time for me, and I got the feeling Nikolay was avoiding me.

This sucked.

I was in the hotel room alone, surfing the channels. I was so bored. At this point, even my eReader and tablet couldn’t keep me entertained, and the TV was on merely for some background noise.

And I was mad.

So mad.

What the hell were they planning on doing anyway?

I was just so fucking tired of feeling like I had no control over my life.

I had no control over my life.

From the day I was born and even now, there was no control.

I turned off the TV and threw the remote against the wall. It made a satisfying loud clanking sound, but it wasn’t enough.

The room was bathed in silence and I—I—

I stood up and pulled at my hair. I walked to the window, looking down at the busy street. I wanted to be someone else so badly. To be normal. To walk around the busy street, unaware of all the monsters in this world.

To have friends.

My eyes stung.

I was twenty-two years old and I hadn’t really lived.

Not really. I spent the majority of my time trying to survive, and I was usually good at coping with my reality, but something about this thought, today or all day, felt…

Sad.

Perhaps because for the first time in my life, I had hope.

And I knew what a terrible thing hope could be, especially when it hinged on other people’s thoughts, actions, and emotions.

The hope I felt blossoming in my chest hinged on the three men who had taken me captive in some sick, twisted move to declare war against my father.

What hope was there, really, for someone like me?

The door clicked open and I jumped.

I quickly wiped away my tears, hating that I was crying right now and was about to be caught. I didn’t want to deal with it.

Nikolay came into the room and paused when he found me. He was carrying a bag of takeout food.

He could eat it by himself.

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