Page 86 of Born in Depravity

I felt Mikhail’s heavy gaze on me then, though I didn’t look at him to see. I kept my eyes on the tablet, enjoying a moment in my life that felt so normal.

I would have given almost anything just to feel like this for a little while longer.

But then a knock on the door intruded on my thoughts. Mikhail let out a small sigh and turned off the screen.

“Hungry,kotyonok?”

I looked at him, thinking, before I nodded slowly.

He climbed out of bed and I pulled the blanket tighter around me. But Mikhail didn’t let the lady who usually brought my food inside the room. He grabbed the tray from her hands and shut the door without saying anything.

Then he sat on the bed and placed the tray down between us. I watched him cut up the grilled chicken breast, spearing the meat with his fork and holding it to my lips. Unlike Damien, Mikhail seemed to like feeding me. I still didn’t know how I felt about this.

I opened my mouth and took the food.

And he kept at it, only taking a little for himself in between. I could feel my heart calming after a while.

When we’d cleaned the plate and I was full from the food, Mikhail put everything back on the tray and carried it outside. He set it on the ground by the door and closed it behind him before turning to me, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face.

I blinked at him.

He leaned down and picked me up in his arms. I didn’t think about my actions when I wrapped my arms around his neck and moved in closer to his chest, to his warm body.

We went to the bathroom.

He deposited me on the sink and handed me a toothbrush with the tube of toothpaste before he went and turned on the bath water.

I brushed my teeth, going through the motions. It was good that he was giving me something to do. I didn’t want to think anymore.

It wasn’t long before Mikhail joined me by the sink.

He kept his eyes on me as he removed my clothes. I didn’t stop him. What was the point of being so self-conscious when I had spent days with him without a stitch of clothing on? What was the point of fighting when I didn’t even hold an ounce of power?

Mikhail was wrong.

I wasn’t powerful.

A single tear fell from the thought and he frowned as he swiped it with his thumb. Mikhail lifted me up in his arms carefully, as if I was something precious. He was a fucking great liar, because in that moment, I believed him.

He settled me down in the warm bath water. It felt nice against my aching muscles. I didn’t even know why I ached so much.

I thought Mikhail would bathe me, like he did a few days ago—a time that felt like a lifetime ago, but he surprised me when he stood up to his full height and took off his clothes. I turned away from him and tried not to react when I felt him lower into the bath behind me.

This was a large tub.

Big enough to accommodate me and Mikhail’s large frame.

I tensed and tried not to make any contact with his bare skin, but Mikhail snaked an arm around me and pulled me close to him. He ran his fingers through my hair, and I didn’t hate it as much as I wished I did.

“Relax,kotyonok,” he murmured across my skin.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to do as he asked.

Perhaps it was because of the warm water. Or Mikhail’s arms around me. He might be a monster, but this monster could protect me from the other, scarier ones. Or maybe it was because of everything I had been through.

But I found it easy to let go.

And with it, I gave myself permission to break apart.

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