Page 48 of Born in Depravity

I watched warily as he reached over me with one arm and clicked the lamp off, bathing the room in darkness before he settled in behind me once more.

So he wasn’t leaving.

I wished he would.

I didn’t know how to be around him right now.

Confusion mingled with my shame as tears sprang to my eyes. I didn’t know how to think or feel.

It didn’t seem like he planned on doing anything more than sleep with me in his arms, but how could that be?

My father had protected my chastity like it was the most prized commodity in his possession, because it was. I knew it was only a matter of time before my virginity would be sold to the highest bidder, under the inglorious pretense of marriage.

But I had heard my father’s men talk.

I’d heard them brag to each other about taking women to their beds, and the deplorable way they treated those women, during and after the act. I knew the same fate awaited me with my future husband.

But Damien wasn’t doing anything like that.

He touched me.

He confused me.

And now he was sleeping next to me. His warmth embraced me, tempting me to get lost in the heat, to leave all my troubles behind, because Damien was a big man. A scary man. And in this world, only a scary man can truly protect you from harm.

This was worse than any strike I had endured by my father’s hands.

Because now, I was waiting with bated breath for him to make his move.

Unlike my father, Damien was showing me kindness after cruel and disgraceful treatment, and like the broken doll that Nikolay accused me of being, I wanted to lap up his kindness and take it for myself.

I wanted to own it, for no other reason than that no one had ever shown me any kindness since my mother died… since she was murdered.

Tears slipped free from my closed eyelids.

Smack!

I gasped when Damien spanked my butt once with his large hand. My flesh stung from his abuse, but it was pride that took most of the pain.

“Go to sleep,” he gritted out.

So much for kindness.

I didn’t say anything to that, but I did force myself to stop tensing in his arms.

I hugged the pillow to my side and buried my face in it, trying to hide my tears. I couldn’t cry in front of him. I didn’t want to make the devil angry.

He let out a small sigh.

He pulled me over until I was lying flat on my back before he moved his body on top of mine. I tensed.

I’d done it now.

I’d angered him. And instead of letting me sleep, he was going to violate me in the worst way possible. I shook my head, and I wondered if he could see in the dark, could see the apology in my eyes for making him mad.

“Ah, pet, why are you crying? Wasn’t I good to you? I let you come, didn’t I?”

The tears came out harder and a strangled noise made its way up my throat. I tried to turn away when he leaned down and captured my tears with his lips, but he just followed me.

---