Page 190 of Born in Depravity

CATALINA

I closedmy eyes at the sound of the first shot fired.

I covered my ears with both hands and I …

I felt utterly helpless.

My men were out there, engaging in a gun fight with Father, and I was so fucking scared.

Not for me.

I was fucking scared for them.

I didn’t want anything to happen to them.

Fuck.

I loved them.

Every single one of them.

I loved Mikhail and Damien and Nikolay.

I fucking loved them and I didn’t want to lose them.

I loved them, and I didn’t think I had ever loved anyone besides my mom. But this felt different, and I couldn’t lose them the same way I’d lost Mom.

I just couldn’t.

Another shot fired.

Damien told me to stay hidden in the car. I would be nothing more than a hindrance if I showed my face, but I wanted to know so badly if they were okay.

Please let them be okay.

I heard tires squealing, and I didn’t know if it was men on our side or Father’s side. But then the gunshots were moving further and further away from the car.

I moved up to the seat and watched as more cars pulled up, and in the chaos, I couldn’t tell whose side they were on, but I knew the fight was no longer happening around the car I was in.

I searched for my men, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.

I looked down at the ground, at all the dead bodies, but none of them looked like Damien, Mikhail, or Nikolay.

Another shot fired and I caught sight of Father.

The car I was in had black-tinted windows, so I doubted he could see me, but I could see him clearly. Could see the hatred in his eyes, the deranged look about him, and for the first time, I fully admitted how much I fucking hated him.

I wished he was dead.

I wished a bullet would hit him dead in the chest, like the one he’d put in my Mom’s, and I didn’t care whose bullet it was.

He turned to the car suddenly and I froze. I was sure he couldn’t see me, but it felt like he could. A slight chill permeated me.

I hated him, but I was still so scared of him.

I didn’t want to be afraid anymore, but especially not of him.

Movement caught my eye and I turned to my left. The relief that hit was instantaneous as I caught sight of Damien, Mikhail, and Nikolay standing by each other. They looked unharmed for the most part.

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