And then I would give her the business.

“Have you ever been disappointed?”

I frowned, surprised by the change in topic. “Yes. Of course.”

“Have you ever given a man your whole heart and soul, and had him promise you the same, only for him to turn around and betray you in your own home? The home you made for him?”

I shook my head. I guess the topic hadn’t changed at all.

“It hurts.” I was shocked to see tears in her eyes. “Men…they disappoint. All of them. No matter what you do. No matter how much you give. They always, always let you down.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I watched as tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks and thought about my father. Who let me down. And Dario. Who had let me down. And Brett, who violated me. And Jakari…well, so far, so good, but there would come a day, and I knew this, because Gab was right. There’s always a day.

And it hurts like hell.

But I feel like we already know that. We as a collective group. We might get our hopes up, but somewhere in the back of our consciousness, we’re never really surprised by the shit men do. So we cry, and rage, but then we keep it pushing because we have shit to do. Hours to work. Meals to cook. Homes to clean. Kids to raise.

Being strong is part of our culture. For better or worse.

“Anyway,” she sighed. “If I had it to do over, I would have killedhim, not her.”

I didn’t respond to that either.

“You just gon sit there and stare at me?”

I took a deep breath. “No. I was waiting for you to finish.”

“I’m done.” She waved a hand dismissively.

“That’s a good word for it.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

“You’re done. Me and Jakari appreciate everything you’ve done for the family, but we won’t be needing your services any longer.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is that supposed to be funny?”

“Am I laughing?”

She tilted her head and stared at me. I stared right back, no blinking, no wavering.

“Jakari is in charge, and I’m his wife. I think you know what that means. I think you also understand that I will show you the proper respect as his mother, even though I hate you and can’t wait to spit on your grave when you die. But like all cockroaches, you’ll probably live forever, causing chaos and problems everywhere you go, because you thrive in it. I know it’s not your fault, but I can’t have you messing things up for Jakari. So let’s come to an understanding on today: you’ll play your position as Mama or Grandma or whoever the fuck you wanna be, and I’ll be Jakari’s right hand. If I find out you’re being sneaky and causing problems, I’ll make my move, and you’ll go to prison for the rest of your miserable, bitter, angry little life.”

Her lips tightened into a straight line.

“Do we understand each other?”

She nodded, just once, and I let out a sigh of relief. I was playing it cool, but a bitch was terrified.

“Good,” I said. “I want us to be cordial for Kari’s sake. He doesn’t need any more stress on him.”

Gab pulled out a cigarette and lit it. After a few puffs, she chuckled quietly. We both watched the smoke billow out toward the river. “I know you think you won something today," she said, "but trust and believe, you ain’t won shit. I’m letting you have this out of the goodness of my heart—”

“Gab, you know as well as I do that there ain’t no goodness in your heart. If we looked in there, I bet all we’d find is a bunch of dirty ice cubes. With tobacco on them.”

She tried to hold it back, but a laugh snuck out. “You gotta be cold to be the queen. You’ll find out soon enough.”

She stood and took one last look at the river. “You know what else you’ll find out? I always win.”