Page 16 of A Bloody Good Christmas

7

Sage

As the week drifted on, Sage continued to go on scheduled dates with Irving. On Wednesday she attended an evening film with him, and on Friday, the committee of couples watched a basketball game starring the Hornbeck Hornets. The more she got to know Irving, the more taken with him she became. Underneath his sullen demeanor and strange quirks was an incredibly kind and gentle man. His glances of longing had her feeling like a bashful teenager. It was invigorating.

That being said, Sage wasn’t sure she was ready to commit to a relationship so soon after the end of a toxic marriage. Irving was wonderful, but he was a lot to handle, and the dates were a little too formatted for her liking. At the theatre, she and Irving had been forced to sit through a vampire rom-com, a genre which neither of them appreciated, particularly Irving. During one scene in which the male vampire was glistening in the sun like a recently polished diamond, he stood in outrage.

“This is a heinous depiction of vampirism!” he’d fumed. “Blood-sucking monsters are not glamorous swashbucklers! What sort of sick bastards am I to blame for this inequity?”

Although it was true that the film had been lame, Sage had a hard time understanding Irving’s erratic response.

The basketball game hadn’t proved to be anymore successful. Irving had been fidgeting uncomfortably the entire time. At one point, he’d left, only to appear with a dazed look on his face at the end. According to him, he’d been unable to concentrate due to the sound of the dribbling ball. “The pounding was like a fist against a coffin lid. Maddening.” This explanation had made zero sense to Sage and she couldn’t help but wonder if Irving’s sanity was even less intact than she’d initially thought.

Besides her own conflicted feelings about her love life, Sage also had to think of her daughter, as well as Mark’s funeral. The date of the service was creeping up, and Harper was soon to be home. Sage worried how her relationship would seem to, so soon after her father’s passing. She wanted to be there for Harper but she feared getting shut out as she so often was; and her relationship with Irving would be just another reason Harper could use against her.

It was while waiting in the chapel of the Church and Chapel funeral home one evening that Sage found herself chuckling at the thought of Harper being the second Irving in her life. Both her daughter and the man she was dating had trouble opening up. Instead of being honest about what they were feeling, they indulged in avoidant behaviors. For Harper it was her studies at school, and for Irving it was his compulsions.

“What’s your partner like?” the woman seated next to Sage interrupted her rumination. “I hear he’s a lost cause. If he wasn’t such a psycho I’d totally hit that. He’s one of the sexiest members.”

The woman who’d spoken was stunningly gorgeous. Her skin was dark and glowing and her hair swept down her back in immaculate waves. She was dressed in a red satin slip that perfectly hugged her figure. Compared to her, Sage was plain.

“He’s quite pleasant, actually,” she told the girl.

“Sure he is,” she responded, snarkily. She then leaned closer to Sage, lowering her voice to a whisper, “Tell me, how much did Cameron offer you to date him?”

The question mortified Sage although it was true; she had hoped no one besides her knew. Thankfully, the other members of the club entered the chapel, giving her an excuse not to answer.

“Hello, you delicious creature,” the woman’s partner lifted her effortlessly from her seat. “Look at this shade of red! Oh, how you tempt me!” he exclaimed. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me have a little suck on your neck tonight?”

“Don’t be naughty, Percival,” she replied, seductively. “You know the rules. No sucking allowed.”

Sage found herself disgusted with the couple’s carnal communication. The man had spoken to his date as though she was a tasty cut of meat. Sage felt out of place amongst the other club members. She was dressed more casually, wore less makeup and jewelry, and she was significantly older. A feeling of relief washed over her as she caught sight of Irving sifting his way through the crowd.

“Is it stuffy in here?” he asked, tensely. “It feels stuffy in here.” He took several deep breaths before absently combing his fingers through his hair.

Sage laughed and hooked her arm through his. She loved how Irving touched his hair whenever he became flustered. “You’re cute when you’re nervous,” she told him.

“In that case I must appear adorable at all times because I am an absolute bundle of nerves,” he admitted. “The place of food consumption reserved for tonight is one of incredible opulence. There will be eyes everywhere watching to make sure I don’t slip up.”

“Do you mean a fancy restaurant?” Sage corrected him. Her heart melted when Irving paused to unbutton the collar of his shirt. He struggled to do so as his fingers were trembling. “Here, let me,” she offered. Irving stood more than a full head taller than her, forcing Sage to stand on the tips of her toes to reach his collar. She carefully unfastened the first three buttons of his shirt, exposing just the right amount of his chest. Standing back, she felt her ears burn as she admired him. His shirt was a dark shade of blue. It complimented the color of his eyes and was tailored to showcase his slim waist and toned arms. “You look stunning,” Sage said.

Irving scoffed. “You flatter me. I’m an ancient parasite. If anyone should be described as stunning, it’s you.”

Another curious quality of Irving’s was the fact that he seemed completely oblivious to how handsome he was. Anytime Sage complimented his appearance, he’d brushed it off as though he believed her to be fibbing. His humility was a trait she adored, though it didn’t always seem to be rooted in reality.

As they passed through the double doors of the funeral home’s entrance, they were met with a mob of cheering people. “Good grief, not this nonsense again,” Irving huffed in exasperation.

The cause of the commotion was a mystery to Sage. She observed many of the people in the crowd to be sporting plastic fangs and carrying signs with odd expressions written on them. One homemade flag read: ‘Neck-romancers for the taking’, while another stated ‘Love Bites.’ Sage also noticed that the majority of these people were young women. Sage couldn’t help but be reminded of the phase in Harper’s life where she’d been interested in vampire novels.

Irving bolted in the opposite direction of the squealing girls the moment his foot came in contact with the sidewalk, scooping Sage up in the process. He moved so fast, Sage hadn’t been able to process what had happened. One moment she’d been exiting the funeral home and the next she was two blocks down at a bus stop. “What the hell just happened?” she demanded, blinking incomprehensibly at Irving. “Who were those women? How did we get here so fast?”

Irving moaned as he pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose. He looked as though he was experiencing a terrible headache. “Those are fan-girls, or ‘fang’ girls as they like to call themselves. They’re an incredible nuisance. Those mortal women are lucky enough to have a short period of time to live. They shouldn’t be wasting that precious time chasing after a fang-tasy. Of course, it’s those ghastly novels and films that are to blame for this. Vampires are dangerous creatures not objects of desire, for Christ’s sake! Though, I should follow that declaration by assuring you that you are completely safe in my company.”

“Wow,” Sage responded, shaking her head. To think that a group of delusional women would gather at a funeral home in the hopes of meeting a hunky vampire was truly astonishing.

“Wow, indeed,” Irving muttered. “As for the rapid nature in which we arrived at this location, I picked you up and ran here. I’m inhumanly fast and inhumanly strong.”

So much for his humility,Sage thought.

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