Page 91 of Inevitable Destruction

“It’s just… I’ve been thinking some stuff for a while, especially since you’ve been avoiding me. And then today I see you pull up in his car…”

I blanch at her words. Shit. Fuck. What do I even—

“Don’t try to deny it’s his car, either.” My gaze snaps to hers, and she quirks her brow at me like she knows exactly what I’m thinking.

“You know, it’s funny. Ever since that night you arrested him, I’ve been thinking about how weird you were—breaking protocol when you’re a damn control freak when it comes to the system, disappearing all the time, avoiding me.

“You’ve always been cold; I know that. But this version of you?” She gestures her arm out in my direction. “I don’t even fucking recognize.”

I stew over her words for a minute, absorbing everything she said as the rain absorbs into my clothes simultaneously. Everything she said is right—accurately so. But the problem is, she can’t know any of that. Her knowing implicates not only her, but me as well.

I grip the ends of my soaking wet hair and push them back away from my face, giving me a clear line of sight of Jamie and her shivering form. She’s strong, completely badass, and unapologetically herself after the shit she’s been through. It’s one of the biggest reasons I care for her so much, but this? What she thinks she knows?

It can’t happen.

“Wow, quite the story you’ve conjured up.” I lock my jaw until I feel the pop of bone ring through my skull. “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re projecting your problems onto me, Jamie?”

“What the—”

“No. Let me finish.” I take a step forward until she has to raise her chin to look me in the eyes, which she does with an impenetrable steel wall of confidence, a wall I plan on obliterating to get her off my fucking back.

It’s to protect her—but she won’t ever know. I’m about to end the only friendship I’ve ever had. All for fucking revenge.

My gut twists painfully, sending shock waves through my limbs until the overwhelming urge to curl into a ball is all I can feel. Better than feeling her pain.

“Your parents fucked you up so bad, you think it’s okay to take your internalized homophobic thoughts and twist them to fit your prerogative? I’m gay, Jame. I’m fucking a man that I broke some rules for, but that’s all it is.” I cut myself off with a sharp inhale. Forcing the venomous, deceitful words out is harder than I ever thought it could be—for a multitude of reasons.

"Dominik caught my eye. You know I like them pretty. But it’s nothing more than that. Now that I think about it, maybe what you’re doing is much different from being homophobic… yeah. I think it is.” I put my index finger on my chin as I mockingly ponder what to say next, hating the way her face is twisted in surprised pain.

Get it done.

“I think you’re jealous that I can be who I truly am without guilt. I have no family to disappoint with my sexuality, so there’s nothing for me to worry about. But you? Your family would be fucking heartbroken to know you want to be with women, that you want to fuck women.

“I wonder what their faces would look like if you told them you eat pussy—” A sharp slap radiates across my cheek, and my head snaps to the left. My eyes pop open in surprise as I balk at Jamie, lifting my own hand to my now hot flesh. Her chest is heaving, and even though it’s raining and growing darker out by the minute, I think I can see the tears pooling in her eyes.

The immediate rush of agonizing guilt I feel is too much, even for me.

“Jame…” I reach my arm out, but Jamie takes a step back, shaking her head.

“No, Rhett. I get it. Not my problem. I’ve got enough of my own to worry about.” Her posture is as rigid as a statue as she walks right past me inside the building without a backward glance.

I watch her go, warring with myself to chase after her and fix it just by finally speaking the fucking truth, or to let her go and finish what I started all those months ago…

It’s not until my socks become water-logged and my skin pruned that I make my decision.

It’s always only ever been about Dominik and my unpredictable desire to destroy him.

Only now, I think he might’ve destroyed me, too.

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