Page 6 of Inevitable Destruction

DOMINIK

“Lightning Crashes”—Live

The sunslowly sets as I drive around aimlessly. Street after street of the same shit. Buildings, houses, people. It’s all mundane. Meaningless.

As the sun disappears beyond the horizon, I pull my car to a stop on the side of the road. It’s not until I’ve been sitting, staring out of the rain-splattered windshield, that I realize where I am.

“Lightning Crashes” by Live plays softly on repeat in the background, just loud enough to be heard, and if I didn’t know the lyrics by heart, I wouldn’t be able to tell what they are.

My heavy gaze lands outside of the window. Even though there isn’t anything here to mark this site, I still remember this exact spot. Where my entire life changed—again.

This is where I first laid my eyes on Essa. She was in that mangled car, bleeding, crying, and utterly fucking terrified. Memories of her sister’s slack face flit through my mind, and I shiver, shoving the unsettling memories away.

It wasn’t the first time I saw a dead body, but I sure as fuck hope it was the last. No one talks about how badly that can haunt a person, seeing someone lifeless. But worse than that was having to tell a perfect stranger their sister was dead. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do—which is saying something—and I didn’t even know Essa then.

Fucking Essa. Who knew how much one person could heal you, then quite literally undo every ounce of that healing at the drop of a dime. The moment she left with Vincent, it was all over. All the happiness I achieved with her was just… gone.

The only way I can think to compare it is: imagine you’re drowning, stuck underneath wave after heavy wave crashing over you. Your lungs are screaming. In fact, your entire body is screaming. Your head is swimming, fuzzy from lack of oxygen.

You can feel yourself slowly dying. Your body is shutting down, and everything grows immensely heavy. It’s almost euphoric, the feeling of dying, being dragged beneath the blackness, but then, you’re suddenly shooting upwards so fucking fast, it’s an instant whirlwind of sensations.

The air you’re desperately sucking into your lungs feels so fucking good, it’s physically painful. The air brushing across your over-sensitized skin is so intense, it stings. Every sensation is more than it ever was.

You’re high on the feeling of life when Death was so close to stealing you.

And Death is a greedy bastard, sticking its claws where it can—and it takes every opportunity it’s presented with.

It’s only when the high resides that you realize the truth. The fucking façade of it all. It was temporary. All. Of. It. The person who saved you unwittingly stole your mortality, leaving you on Death’s doorstep once more.

They saved themselves while killing you in the process.

Joke’s on us all though, I suppose. I died long ago. I only fooled myself into believing I was alive.

I take a deep, shuddering breath and shove my door open to step out into the rain that’s steadily turned into more than just a drizzle. My clothes are still damp from earlier, when I was at their gravesite, so what’s a little more?

I secretly hope the rain can wash away the parts of me I no longer care for, just like it washes trash down the drains on every road.

I lift my hat and brush back my curls stuck to my forehead before placing it back on backwards. I slam my door shut, leaving the car to idle, and shove my hands in my pockets as I walk towards the very spot that car was.

There is nothing physically significant about this place. It’s right on the outskirts of town, with long, winding roads and trees on either side the entire way. But for some reason, I can’t get it out of my head. It does mean something.

I changed here, in that very moment, when I had to tell Essa her sister didn’t make it. That look on her face—all-consuming agony along with the faintest traces of hopeful disbelief. Like her sole reason for existing was gone in a flash. Her body language alone said more than her screams ever could: wide, green, tear soaked eyes, lips parted with fast and heavy breaths, nostrils flared and caked with blood that continued to pour out as she screamed, hands shaking so rapidly, they blurred, all while her entire body wracked inside of the car so powerfully, it shook the base.

Her pain, raw and animalistic, was so forceful, I felt it.

I fucking knew her pain because I had lived it. I was the one to find all three of them in my parents’ bedroom. The amount of blood in places there should never possibly have any blood… Their skin—pale—and their fucking eyes…

HONK!

My closed lids fly open at the sound of a car horn blaring. I jerk back just in time for the asshole to fly past me, flipping me the bird all the while.

“Fuck you, too!” I shout and throw up my own finger. Jesus fucking Christ, I hate it here. This fucking town. These people. This place is tainted with the ghosts of my past—not just the people.

I stumble back until my ass bumps against the hood of my car. I run my hand down my face and clear the water from my eyes so I can see enough to find my door handle. I finally get in and let the heater blow hot across my face before I partially open my eyes again, the tiniest sliver of my dash on display.

“Lightning Crashes” is still playing, and my stomach sinks. I yank my phone out of the center console and stab the skip button repeatedly, so fucking hard, the tip of my finger aches. The slow musical intro to Stone Sour’s “Zzyzx Road” begins, and I can’t help the scoff that puffs through my parted, chapped lips. I have the deepest urge to hit the skip button, but for some stupid fucking reason, I let the song play as I pull out my pack of smokes from the glovebox and light one up.

I crack the window an inch and sit in my parked car on the side of the road in the now pouring rain. The nicotine seeps into my lungs as I suck in a deep drag and hold it. My head swims from the lack of oxygen mixed with toxic chemicals, and my eyes drift the rest of the way closed as I lean back in my seat.

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