Page 81 of Inevitable Destruction

It’s not until I’m crawling up the hill to the cemetery that reality starts creeping back in.

Coming to a rolling stop, I kick the stand down and clamber off the bike. Pops’s headstone comes into view, and that’s when I break. I fall to my knees in front of the only thing left of my father—a decayed body in a casket, marked by a hunk of fucking stone.

The drops falling from the sky mask the ones trailing down my face, hot and full of shame.

I’m fucking weak. Pathetic, really. But fuck me if I can stop them.

When did this all become too much? When did I become this person?

I don’t realize I’m speaking out loud until a broken sob escapes my throat, the sound wretched and weak.

I’m not this person.

“I’m trying, Pops.” The words tumble from my lips. “You deserve revenge the only way you can get it, but it—” Another choked noise. “It’s changing me. I don’t like who I am. This… I’m lost. Questioning everything, including myself for the first time, and it hurts.”

“I’m betraying you.”

This part hurts worst of all, but I just have to say the words—just once so they’re out there, and I never have to think them again.

“Dominik Reed. He’s… fuck. He’s more. I—” No more words come out. I force myself to stop before I can hurt both of us even further.

There’s being honest because it needs to be said, and then there’s being honest for no goddamn reason. Some things don’t need to be spoken into existence. Once words are said, you can’t take them back. They’re forever etched into existence, and I refuse to risk that.

Some things are better left unsaid.

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