Page 7 of SEAL Mates

He chuckled, as I spoke about the past and in one sweep, the heavy case that nearly broke my back, was at the back of his jeep.

“You were always overthinking everything, and being so damn negative especially in high school. Like the time you didn’t want anyone to know that we were neighbors because you were worried it would spoil my street cred and then I wouldn’t be so cool anymore.”

He shook his head as if he was about to defend himself.

“Yeah, and that was just nuts. I didn’t care who knew, but then you fell in love and then everything changed.”

Yeah, no more were we friends, I was in love. The only thing that I wanted was to be in love. The little friends I had in high school all had boyfriends, but not me. I used to think that there was something wrong with me. I used to worry that no man would ever love me, it took me nearly thirty years to not give my all to men. My kids to a certain degree and me, I was just there. It didn’t seem to matter so much anymore.

He winked at me, as if he’d sensed that he touched a nerve. I really needed to stop being so sensitive. I’d hoped he’d forgotten this part of my life. As we both walked towards my case, he exaggerated its weight as he lifted it and put it in the back. I headed to the passenger side, remembering how Greg made me feel, and wondering why we lost touch. It was then that the penny dropped, my ex. I wasn’t allowed friends let alone male ones. This was why we stopped talking. I was out of that relationship and my own woman now. I didn’t have to answer to anyone. Especially not him.

* * *

“So, what’s it like being back home with your mom?” Greg asked, after we took a break from catching up on the last fifteen years. His version of his life took a lot longer than mine. Maybe, because I had nothing exciting to say.

Got pregnant at college. It was embarrassing, mom said I went to college to get a degree and not have a baby. She was right.

“Do you speak to Hank?”

I darted my eyes at him. Not many people know I had a third child. Well, everyone assumed I had two, they lived with me and I took them to school every day.

“He lives with his dad. They work together. He manages the garage and does the business side of things.”

He nodded, “That’s good. But I have a feeling that there’s more to the story.”

I sighed. “Since moving there, I hardly speak to him. He went to college on scholarship and I didn’t know whether he left to study or get away from me.”

He put his hand on my knee, reassuringly. I blushed at his touch, then avoided his stare.

“I cannot imagine you being anything but a good mom. You showed it, when you worked two jobs to get him into that public school.”

A tear escaped my eyes as he told me the sacrifices of the past. Yes, I did, but it wasn’t enough.

“A boy always wants the parent that he can look up too. There’s nothing attractive about a woman that has three kids with three different dads. But there’s everything normal about a man in the same boat.”

It was a man’s world. As much as the feminists tried to state we should be equal. We weren’t. It didn’t make it right admitting it. It was just the way it was.

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