Page 5 of SEAL Mates

“The jerk. Who shall not be named, hated your success. Called you’re writing a hobby. You’ve had the last three years to show him otherwise, but instead you hide in here. Acting as if you’re sixty-five and not forty-seven.”

Mom was seventy-three and dressed as if she was a lot younger. Yet, I was acting around her age and not my own. Also, her boyfriend was only five years younger, I didn’t know if that classed him as being a toy boy, but they both made me feel old, and jealous about the good times they were having together.

I couldn’t remember apart from the first year of my marriage, and dating my daughter’s dad. I couldn’t remember having a spark with anyone, let alone being treated like a Queen. The one her boyfriend had treated her like, so many times.

“I’m meeting Trent, so I need to go,” she sighed. Then she exhaled, and passed me a card. “Look, here’s Greg’s card. He said to give it to you and to see if you were interested.”

We weren’t saying anything, but sitting next to each other and no words were exchanged. I didn’t know what to think. My daughter thought I was lazy, it felt as if she was a replica of her dad, being so negative like that. But she wasn’t, she was saying what she was seeing.

I did wear my pj’s all day, every day and I was starting to get a little insecure without it. I talked to no one. Not unless it involved social media or on occasion on my phone. The few who had tried to reach out to me in the past, I pushed them away or my relationship had not allowed me to get close to anyone.

My job back then was to please my husband, but when I failed at that, then it was about pleasing my boyfriend. When that died, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had lost myself for so many years, I’d forgotten about the one most important person on this occasion and that was me.

It didn’t mean I should treat my kids, the way I’d been treated. I knew better than that. Depression was an ugly beast, one that I’d been sucked into, and I couldn’t see a way out of the blackhole.

I turned off the tele and took a deep breath as I took the card mom had given me, with Greg’s number and email address on it. We’d gone to school when we were kids, we were neighbors then best friends.

I dialed his number, but then debated about whether to make the phone call. Shit, my palms were sweaty, I was nervous as hell.

I pressed the button and called. I hoped he picked up the phone, or I would have to call back. I didn’t see having the guts that I had right now to make the call in the first place, another day.

“P?”

I was surprised, he knew who was calling, which could only mean one thing. He had my number too.

“Hi Greg. How are you? Long time.”

He chuckled, the same way he would back when he was my neighbor.

“Good. Good. I think your mom has turned psychic?”

“Sorry?”

“Well, she told me to keep my phone by my side at this hour, because you would be calling.”

I cringed at the idea of being so predictable, that not only had mom told Greg exactly what I would do, but I’d done it. My heart was racing and my palms started to sweat as I put the phone in my other hand.

“Look. I’m going to Burlington next week. Your mom said that she will look after the kids for a week, so you could come along for the ride. I’ll pick you up. Don’t worry about it.”

“A week! I can’t go for that long.”

He exhaled a long breath. “Again, your mom said that you would complain about that, which is why she said to tell you that she will look after the kids.”

“What else did mom tell you?”

He laughed and I wondered if a split second if he was laughing at me, or about me.

“You seem to have forgotten our mothers as kids. I’ll pick you up in a week. We’ll ride together and you can tell me what’s been going on in your life for the last five years, I think that’s how long since we last saw each other.

As we said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. It was crazy but I had a wave of excitement. The idea of leaving the house and doing something other than shopping or picking the kids up from school shouldn’t have made me feel this excited but it did.

It was as if I was the popular one today as I looked at my phone and saw that I had a message.

Mom, just checking up on you. H

My eldest had remembered he had a mom and was sending messages. I called him and if he felt like it or needed something then he would reply. We were close once. It felt like an eternity looking back, but he moved out after going to uni and never came back home. My heart ached so much back then. Now, I just had to be grateful that he was getting in touch. That was all a mother could hope for that their son was well.

We’re fine. Just missing you. So, when will we see you?

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