Page 28 of SEAL Mates

Paula

I ate too much at the steak house. Everything was fresh so Greg told me, so everything just tasted that much better. No chemicals, and it was wrong knowing that the animals kept here would be slaughtered and eaten but for some reason that just made them taste even better.

I hated myself for devouring every mouthful and for ordering more, but I hadn’t had meat like this in a long time and promised tomorrow I would be a vegetarian. Or even go as far as to be a vegan.

No, a vegetarian within a year and then maybe the next I’d upgrade to being a vegan. Maybe it would get rid of these love handles and sagging tits and thighs. Then again, I’d read a few articles that said it didn’t work like that. It was all about good health and I was at the age that I had to worry about such things, but when you’re drowning in debt, have kids to look after single-handled then you forgot about such things. The important parts of it.

I was in one of those moods, thinking about simple things and nothing at all at the same time. I’d been here for a week and no one was really banging down my door to be interviewed. Greg had suggested that I should go around town and stop shutting myself in my room, but the only thing I’d got while going around town was folks asking if I really did write that book and feel as if I was the one being interviewed instead of the other way around. Why the fuck was I here?

I spoke to the kids, and it was crazy to think that I missed them a lot more than I thought I would. Sure, I loved my kids I didn’t want to think of myself as a bad mom, but I’d been doing school runs for the last twenty one years and I would think having a day off from it, not because it was the holidays but because I’d gone away from it, would have made me excited.

It was the complete opposite.

I’d woken up at six-thirty like I did every morning, even without my alarm, but at home I always needed the alarm to come on so I could turn it off at least twice before I officially did get up. Then there was the shouting at the kids to get up and ready, all the things I did at home naturally as a mom, were taken away from me. And what was I doing? Deciding if I would become a vegan or vegetarian and not even watching Netflix!

When did I get so boring? Too boring that I felt ashamed to admit it to myself.

So, my frustration got the better of me, and I did what anyone else would do in my circumstance.

“Why the fuck am I here?”

I didn’t give a shit if anyone heard me, no doubt they did. As a tear streamed down my eye, it was a rude awakening of what I’d become. I jumped off the bed, and decided that I would in my pj’s. The good ones. The ones I bought from J. C. Penney when I decided I would be permanently seen in them outside of the house. I needed something that people would think, maybe she’s wearing Pj’s and maybe she’s not and I knew the only place I could get that would be J.C. Penney’s.

As soon as I got to the door, I was shocked by who was on the other side, it was Alec. The hot cop. The one who probably slept in his uniform cause he wore it all the time.

“Good you’re in.”

He said with his eyes slightly slanted as if he was tipsy, I knew that look too well. Casey, my daughter’s dad looked like that no matter what hour of the day. He’d always had a drink at the start of his day and I should have known he had an issue, but I pretended, like any good girlfriend would do. So, he’d told me a million times.

The hot cop didn't look so hot as memories of my dreaded past flooded through my mind.

“What are you doing here?” I barked, as I started to back away from the door. I didn’t know why he’d come, but he had to leave as all the horrible memories started to flash through my mind. The ones I’d locked away with lock and key.

“I didn’t mean to come in this state. My brother and Derek came here to offer you. We wanted to tell you. You know you’re here for us. We will give you the interview you need if you stay with us.”

“What?”

He waved his hands, “Sorry. I was so nervous. We all were that we had a little too much whisky and now they’re in a room and I need to sleep. I have room. We get breakfast. Ten. Good.Good.”

I didn’t even say a word, as I realized that between being nervous and probably having one too much to drink that he’d crossed a line. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him as I saw him stagger through the empty hallway. I giggled a bit as he nearly fell, but then walked inside and closed the door.

I headed towards my phone and it was only ten and for sure Stephanie wouldn’t be in bed. I called and within a couple of rings she picked up.

“I’m so bored…” she slurred and I wondered if I was the boring one, I clearly was the only one not drinking tonight.

“Steph.”

Nothing.

Then a couple of seconds later, I decided to make it a video-call to see if she was alive or dead drunk?

“Steph?”

“Yeah P. Just fell asleep for a second.”

I shook my head as I witnessed my friend with her hair in a bird’s nest and her normal perfect exterior was far from it.

“Paul bought a bottle of Tequila and we had some shots and then some dares and well, you can figure out the rest.”

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