Page 9 of Valentine Dare

“We need to get going. Mom’s waiting for you. I’ve got things to do later, before I work tomorrow.”

That was when it hit me, yes, today was Sunday. He had his schedule, his life, and I’d completely ruined it, and instead of appreciating all he’d done, I was upset about him not remembering me. I really needed to grow up.

“Right, let’s get going. Sorry, I’ve messed up your day. Your mom works on a Sunday?”

“She’s a workaholic. She says I take after her because I’m `pretty much the same. Watch it!” he screamed at the car, which nearly ran me over as we were walking toward the mall.

He put his arm out, and I was so distracted watching him speak, admiring the way that he walked with confidence. And as for that body, if the arm he’d put out to stop me being knocked over was anything to go by, I was sure every part of him was in perfect form.

“Okay. Get yourself tidied up and then we’ll get something to eat. I heard your stomach just now. Didn’t see you eating much at lunch.”

I didn’t have much of an appetite. Who would have, having such a jerk of a boyfriend sitting next to you. Trent was sweet. I remembered him being an animal lover and wanting to take care of things all the time. I wondered for a split second if he thought of me and the past. I had to get rid of this feeling. It was distracting me from thinking about my fate.

“In fact, you’ve lost a lot of weight.” Trent gasped, and it was as if he’d realized he’d said a little too much as he quickly shut his mouth.

My eyes darted away from him. I didn’t say anything as we kept walking and just bit my lips feeling happy about him noticing my weight loss. Neither of my parents had, not even Kurt. If anything, he’d told me to lose more weight, complaining I was fat all the time.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s not that. It’s just that Kurt said I was too fat. He said I needed to lose weight, and he would even go out of his way to buy a size zero saying I should fit into it.”

He paused. “Why the hell did you stay with that jerk?”

I nodded, knowing he was right. “It’s like a candy bar.” I motioned for us to keep moving as I felt as if all eyes were on me. “We know they’re bad for us. We could avoid eating them in the first place, that way we don’t have to excessively exercise or diet. Guilty indulgences we subject ourselves to and never know the reason why.”

He choked. “Are you comparing yourself to a candy bar?”

“No. I’m comparing myself to the feeling afterward, the guilt of knowing before I went down that road I shouldn’t have done it. Then, I'm left questioning why I did it.”

“Right.”

“You don’t get it?”I asked, feeling defensive and wondering how best to explain it to him.He chuckled. “ I really don’t. I get what you’re saying about candy, but it’s fine to eat one or two, just not every day and definitely not every hour. So, you eat it in moderation, cause it tastes fucking good. You enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It becomes a problem when you eat it every hour, you put on excessive weight, your teeth start falling out and even worse you feel like crap, cause that’s what too much sugar does to you. Then you do it over and over again. It’s damaging, you know it, but you’re so damn far down the hole you don’t fucking care. You lie there in your own, suffering, no more thinking how to get out. You can't. Until something big happens, and by then at times it can be too late.”

I was fighting back the tears as I heard him talk about my life, and I could admit to him he was one hundred percent right. Dad said it would be good to be with Kurt. There was a time, a long time ago, when it stopped being fun, but I kept going on. Blaming dad for being stuck, when really I didn’t do anything to stop being in something which turned toxic.

“Shit, that was too much too soon. Look, can we stop talking about candy because now I’m feeling hungry. Let’s get something to eat. Like right now.” He gasped as if he needed to eat or he would just faint on the floor.

“Papa John’s?”

“Sure,” I whispered, still trying to process what he’d said to me a few seconds ago.

He was a pizza lover too, just like me. Everything felt right being with him and speaking to him. I smiled as my stomach rumbled and knew any minute it would be filled with pizza. Pepperoni, here I come.

After we finished eating, within no time we headed in the direction of JC. I had to shop differently, not the way I’d been used to doing it my whole life, picking things I liked instead of shopping and looking at the price tag. I decided a couple of jeans, some shirts, and maybe a dress or two would do it.

“Shoes, remember you can’t be walking around in those all day.”

The guilt of making him not only walk around with me, but getting more stuff, entered my mind.

I would pay him back!

As soon as this mess was over, I would give him double what he spent on me today. It was the only thing which helped me pick out sneakers and some low pumps. Damn, I could fill the car with clothes I wanted to buy and not what was in the basket.

“I’ll wait for you at the till,” he said, as I realized I was heading in the lingerie department. Yeah, I didn’t want him tagging to see me buy the most basic cotton bras and panties. I stuffed them in the basket and then headed towards Trent. I would pay him back for sure, all this was just temporary, until everything was sorted out. I was confident it had to be, because this was humiliating, but as he took his hand to pay for the clothes, shoes and underwear all belonging to me. I touched his hand, as I looked into his eyes.

“Thank you.”

He winked and whispered, “My pleasure. It’s great seeing that big smile on your pretty face.”

He had me, not only smiling, my nipples were hard the moment I touched his hand, my body was reacting to him. Sex should have been the last thing on my mind, but with him it was all I could think about. Those lips, those abs and most of all those dimples that made me want to melt every time he smiled.

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