Page 60 of Nanny for the SEALs

26

Stan

I expected to get back home earlier than scheduled, but between being so nervous and eating one too many pies at diners and breaking my fucking diet, I ended up spending four hours on the road, and not two. I was so fucking excited about my news. I got the letter through the mail, I was in, and I felt like a child on Christmas Day as I saw the letter. I didn’t even have a Plan B, how messed up was that? I knew I had exactly four weeks before I had to officially start, so there was no time like the present to face the music. Besides, it was Thanksgiving weekend. I wanted to spend it not only with my brothers, but with the twins, too. It was crazy, when I lived here I hated them being around, because they got all the attention and everything was about them. Every single thing we would talk about the club and the conversation would always revert to them, and it was nuts. They were my niece and nephew and I was a grown man, so it shouldn’t have felt like a competition. I felt stupid about how I felt when I lived here. In size I was big, but underneath it all, I was a small child dying to come out of my shell. Unwilling to accept all the challenges in which life threw out us as adults. I’d hidden behind Rick for too long. He replaced Dad once he died, and both Pete and I had let him.

I was sitting in the living room, wondering where everyone was. I text them all to say I was coming, and Pete said he was in town, too. Yet, he wasn’t here.

“Stan, is that you?”

It must have been Katie. I could hear her coming from behind. I thought no one was in, but then again, I never checked her room, just the twins and my brothers.

I stood while taking a deep breath. I knew what she was going to say the moment she saw me. I spun around, and as she froze in her steps, I could tell she was shocked. I couldn’t believe it was the same innocent Katie I’d left behind. She wore a yellow dress, and she wasn’t wearing a bra and part of me wondered if she did that because she wasn’t wearing one for my brothers’ benefit or because she was at home. Her erect nipples were on display through the thin cotton dress. My eyes danced up to meet her eyes, the same dark eyes, but no more with the darkness and sadness. If anything, they glowed under the light make-up she had on. Her hair was shorter, too. It was pinned loosely on her head, but the few strands which were hanging out made me know no more was her hair down her back but more to her shoulders. It suited her, as well as the weight she’d put on. Ironically, it was as if she’d put on the weight in which I’d lost over the last few weeks.

She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, and it took me by surprise.

“We weren’t sure if you were coming. The guys told me to wait for you, but I went to the room and fell asleep. Even walking tires me out these days.” She was talking so fast, I didn’t get a chance to get a word in. “Sorry. I’m talking too much. Not sure why, but it seems to be a thing I’m doing these days.”

I nodded, trying to take in the new Katie. The one who smelled like strawberries, the one who wasn’t nervous around me. This new breath of fresh air Katie. The one I thought I had to stay away from, but couldn’t think of anything better than being with her all the time—even if it wasn’t an option with my new role.

“Don’t worry. I was nervous about coming back, too.”

She put her hand over her mouth. “Nervous? Why? This is your home. It’s not because of me, is it?”

Who could resist those big brown eyes.

“No. It’s just that I didn’t leave under the best circumstances.”

“Oh shoot, no one cares about that. Everyone’s just happy you’re home, and once they see the weight you’ve lost, I’m sure they’ll be so proud of you, too. It’s like you were away for six months.”

“No. Only eight weeks,” I corrected her. And I realized no matter how much weight I lost, or even changed my clothes. I couldn’t even be the average hot guy, that dorky, nerdy part of me would always be there and the biggest part of my transition was accepting the fact that it was me. This was me. Nothing wrong with being me, and I had to stop apologizing to myself and everyone else for it.

She laughed. “Well, it feels a lot longer.”

I shook my head, wishing she wouldn’t tease me. “Please, I made your life horrible and I must apologize for it. You shouldn’t even be talking to me.”

She motioned for us to sit down. It was clear we had to talk, but it was as if I was standing ready to make an escape as I’d done before. I was a different man now, a better one. I just had to start proving it, not to everyone else, but me. I could keep my emotions under check and not run away at the first sign of not getting my way.

“I did take the twins. Then, I lied and pretended to be their nanny. I got in the way of a perfectly good nanny who was qualified to do the job. I wasn’t exactly a saint, either.” She sighed as she summed up all the things she’d done wrong, too.

I shook out my hand, seeing as we were not going to agree on who was the villain in this story, even though I was pretty sure it was me. She didn’t want me to take the rap for it, and I wanted to be a gentleman and allow her to accept my apology, and I knew she would in time. I just had to be patient.

“Truce?”

She dove in to hug me. I didn’t remember her being so touchy-feely before, but she seemed to be so much so as she held on to me.

“No matter what, they missed you for sure, and I felt like crap feeling like the person who had somehow brought friction into this home.”

I pulled away from her, thinking this was all wrong. I was the one who should be on my hands and knees begging for her forgiveness, not the other way around.

“Look, Katie, it’s all done. I mean, let’s just put it in the past. I’ve got over it. I just want you to do the same.”

“Sure, I don’t know why I feel like this. I suppose it’s because the guys went to the airport to pickup Mom.”

Oh, so that explains why they were not here, but not why she didn’t go with them. Maybe it was the way I was looking at her, but she could sense I was thinking about why she was here.

“I didn’t feel well, so I stayed here. I’m not sure why. I think I ate something funny or something. I’ve been feeling sick all day.”

I stroked her chin and she looked at me, then we were locked in a gaze. I didn’t hide away or try to deny how I felt about her. They were as plain as day before I left, and hadn’t changed since I came back.

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