Page 53 of Nanny for the SEALs

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Katie

I was in Rachel’s room. I read online and through a few books that some twins, especially with dizygotic twins, go through a stage when they do not want to be with their twin all the time. We naturally assumed it would never be the case, but it was clear every single day that Rachel didn’t like being around Steven.

She crawled before he did, she was clearly walking okay, so she wasn’t going to compete in the next marathon, but she was ahead of him. I could sense there was some kind of resentment either because he was behind her in terms of development or maybe it was because he was her twin.

Either way, Rick separated their rooms, which he said was quite easy, and he would have wanted Pete to do it since he was the builder of the family. Seeing as he wasn’t here, Rick called someone in. It only took a couple of days, a partition wall, and they now had two separate rooms. I could tell Steven wasn’t bothered by the change, but Rachel was—it was as if she was proud about not being around Steven anymore. They now had two nap times, two everything. I even made sure they didn’t eat together. She’d changed because of it, I didn’t know whether to be proud of her for knowing what she wanted at such an early age or concerned about it.

“Why are you sitting and watching her like that?” Rick asked as he stood by the door. I gasped, and he ran to my side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t. You still did. Why are you creeping around?”

He gave me a gentle kiss as if to say sorry. Rachel turned our way for a brief second and then she was back to trying to figure out how to run and not just walk, and tripping in the process.

“It’s strange. She keeps falling, but then instead of crying, she’s just gets up again.”

“She’s one tough cookie.”

“She must take after Maite. She was one tough cookie, too.”

I didn’t want to talk about his ex, or even think about her right now. It was as if every time he said her name, I would have a wave of jealously enter me. I knew they were never an item, but they had something I never had with Rick—kids and a relationship. Even if he had never called it out as that, it was exactly what it was at the end of the day. I knew she was the kids’ mom, and one day she could come home and want to be part of their lives. I just hoped if she did, then she would only want to be part of their lives and not Rick’s.

Shit!

What was I saying?

I had both Pete and Rick, and always I was worried the shit would hit the fan.

“I remember Dad saying I used to be like that. He used to say, I was going to have my name in lights, I would go all the way. I wonder what he would say about my relationship with Ben. Damn, he would be so disappointed.” I sighed thinking about my past.

Rick shook his head. “Don’t sell yourself short. Everyone goes through some shit at some stage in their lives. You are no stranger to that. I remember, who, don’t ask, but the saying speaks for itself. It’s not what happens to you that makes you stronger, but how you deal with it. Or something along those lines.”

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus.”

He chuckled. “See, you are smart, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Do you think she felt threatened by Steven, and that’s the reason why she wanted her own room?”

Rick shook his head. “No. She just wanted her own identity. Her own space. It’s natural. Remember, I’m a triplet so before you mentioned getting her, her own room and stuff, I was thinking the same thing. I didn’t need a book to think about it. Not criticizing, just saying it. I went through the same thing with my brothers. We changed our hair. Wanted all the same clothes, then went through the phase of wanting different clothes.”

“Shit, it makes sense! You’re a triplet, so a lot of what she’s going through you can relate to.”

He smiled. “Exactly.”

“Sometimes I think too much. I know it’s because with Ben, he did all the thinking for me. I’ve gone from not even thinking about what to wear, because Ben would have it mapped up for me, to having to think about everything.”

His face changed from being playful to being dead serious as his brows met, and he lifted his hand to stroke my chin. “You really went through the works, didn’t you?”

I nodded, and Rachel was no longer running from us, but toward us. As if she felt something was wrong. Rick decided to change the subject by telling me the plans for when we would visit San Fran.

I was so excited. The guys were going all out for me, which included leaving the twins with Aunt Elizabeth for the whole trip. I did question if it was a good idea seeing as technically we hadn’t spoken about a relationship, even if we acted as if we were in one. It was the only thing we had done… not one had made any commitment to me.

Nerves settled in as I started to think about what Rick had said about Maite. About her wanting more, and when push came to shove, he tossed her aside like a piece of trash. Would he do the same to me when he got whatever spiritual settling or whatever it is men need from women to be whole again?

“Are you ready to rock and roll?” Rick asked as the taxi pulled up at the airport. I nodded, but I could tell he was puzzled, as the excited Katie which left the penthouse had left the taxi, and was replaced by this unsure one.

He paid the driver, and I opened the door and stood by the curb. They exchanged the usual friendly greetings that so many travelers do. The same, good luck on your trip, been to San Fran, make sure to check out, etc. Everything was in one ear and out the next as I bit my lip.

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