Page 67 of Make Me Yours

TWENTY-TWO

STELLA

I should be falling apart. Every piece of me, which hadn’t completely shattered, should be crumbling, turning to dust from the brutal manner of his betrayal and the harsh impact of his words. Of his actions.

Obliterated.

But I’m not.

I’m reeling in the euphoric high from giving myself to him, mind, body, and soul has left me in. Every inch of my body is alive, an electric current zapping through me like a defibrillator constantly powering on. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I know it is a fleeting feeling that will soon enough be consumed with dread. But in the wake of it all, I’m holding on to this feeling for as long as I possibly can, until my reality comes back to slap me in the face, and show me just how powerless I truly am.

A sensual assault of unparalleled pleasure, unimaginable satisfaction flowing through me, making every part of me ache for him and the emptiness his departure has left in me. For once, for one short-lived moment, I was powerful, and it felt like nothing I’d experienced before.

It became a drug I craved, unlike the one I was already addicted to. I knew the withdrawals from his touch, his taste, would ruin me.

Malachi Saint made me his, and I know deep down, he will forever be mine, and the terrifying truth is, he damn well knows it.

The way his hands held me, his fingers gripping me tightly, digging into me, and bringing me to the edge repeatedly. The way he showed me no mercy, taking me just as hard and as raw as I have always envisioned, although I’m one hundred percent sure he knew I was lying about no longer being a virgin. It was all so much more than my frail mind could have imagined. He was so much more than what I had expected, but I should have known it would be everything.

Kai is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. His cool and cold demeanor turned blazing hot the moment he laid eyes on me, dressed in the sensual white dress I wore when he came into my bedroom. The moment the wordsI’m getting marriedleft my lips, the look in his eyes proved I had awoken a beast I never knew existed. It was rage, desire, sorrow, all those emotions flashing in his eyes as he stared me down.

All of those emotions he displayed as he fucked me and God, did he fuck me.

Though now that I know what it’s like to be his, now that he is forever gone, the gaping hole he’s left in me, the deep, cavernous well he dug inside of me, will never be filled. I’ll spend an eternity with this raw, open wound that will only be partially filled by the kindness Elijah will show me, but don’t deserve.

That's the kind of guy Malachi Saint is. An unforgettable, irreplaceable, unforgiving man, who deserves none of my love or loyalty, but will have it all.

Elijah is the type of guy I’m supposed to fall in love with. He’s the white knight, the prince charming who’s supposed to swoop in and slay the dragons and save me from the villains holding me down. He’ll put me first time and time again. Cherish me the way I’ve only ever dreamed of, but don’t deserve. He’ll love me, unconditionally and irrevocably, and in time I may learn to accept it.

Of course, that’s not what I want, that’s not what I thirst for.

I want broken love. Destructive and traumatic.

I crave pain, desperation, heartbreak. I yearn to be used and be everything he needs me to be. To please him and, in turn, appease my hunger. I never knew I’d lust this hard for him, but now that I had him, I don’t think I’ll ever move on.

Malachi awoke in me a gluttonous beast, a ravenous monster I didn’t know was hiding deep inside of me. I should have expected it. After all, I am a Silver, and history goes to show, we’re all monsters of some sort.

That kind of feeling was the only constant in my life, and I’d always be missing it.

His last words should have destroyed me. They should have ruined me to the point nothing or no one could ever heal me. Instead, they brought me to life and showed me how much I longed to be his.

Remember this day always, Stella. He may be the one you’re marrying, but now he knows you’ll always be mine.

I’ll always be his. That’s all that matters. Not the twisted way he fucked me, knowing I was engaged to be married to someone else, with my fiancé lurking right outside the door, and my friends downstairs, surely aware of what was happening.

I should be ashamed, sickened by his impertinence, but opposite I feel alive.

Revived. Reborn. Risen.

In some fucked-up, beyond convoluted, and perverted way, that small piece he gave me was all the hope I needed. Just like me, I know he’d become addicted. He needed me the same way I needed him. It was wrong. We were mad, needing to ruin each other in every way, only to show how much we truly belonged to one another.

It’s what the monsters who brought us into this world and those closest to us showed us.

It’s the only way we knew how to live.

He would come back to me. I knew it. As long as it took, I would hold on to that hope. I’d marry Elijah. After all, he had an agenda, a reason to want to marry me I knew little about. He accepted I didn’t love him and although he believed we would grow to care for one another, he wasn’t holding out on it.

Now more than ever, as he runs his fingers through my hair, comforting me, and trying his best to soothe the ache in me, he understands where my heart, body, and soul will always belong.

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