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Especially Emmett’s.

“We tell people a lot of things. Like that Emmett is totally dedicated to his career and won’t retire anytime soon. He will protect and serve until someone tells him he’s not capable, but he won’t go away quietly. I loved that about him. However, I always wished he didn’t work as much as he did, and that sometimes became an issue for us.”

“He is passionate about his job. That’s not a bad thing. My ex hated my schedule as a nurse.”

“Long, odd hours can be rough on a relationship.” Melinda nodded. “And then there were our other reasons. They’re private, and I won’t get into those except to say that it’s not bad or any reason that someone shouldn’t get involved with Emmett. He’s a good man. As I said, one of the best. We just couldn’t be together.”

“Kind of sounds like me and my ex, only he ended up being a shit.”

“Okay. You have to explain that one,” Melinda said. “Because Emmett was never an asshole. Not even when things got bad.”

Trinity leaned back and angled her face so she got the maximum amount of sun. She closed her eyes and let all the memories flood her brain, but she tried not to let the emotions hit her too hard. She couldn’t afford to feel them. Not right now anyway.

“Alex and I met when he was visiting a buddy of his from college. There was instant chemistry between us, and we began a long-distance relationship immediately. After three months, I found a job in Atlanta and moved.”

“What kind of nurse are you?”

“I work in the ER.”

“That’s a commendable career.”

“I love it.” Trinity nodded. “Anyway. I moved in with Alex, and things were perfect. We were madly in love—until I got pregnant.”

Melinda gasped and placed her hand over her belly. “He didn’t want kids?”

“He wanted them. So, we were happy. But I had some complications around the sixth month and went into labor. During the delivery, I started to hemorrhage. The doctors did everything they could, but not only did we lose our child, I ended up having to get an emergency hysterectomy.” Trinity swiped at the tears that burned a path down her cheeks. It had been a while since she’d told this story, and for some reason, it felt good to purge the emotions. The last time she’d relayed this information, her heart had turned black as if someone had reached into the cavity of her chest and cut off the blood supply.

“I’m so sorry.” Melinda scooted closer and hugged her tightly. “That’s fucking horrible.”

That had to be the best response anyone had ever given her. Usually, people pitied her or stared at her with a blank look and couldn’t even manage anything other than asorry, if that.

“I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for you,” Melinda said.

“It was horrible,” Trinity admitted. “It wasn’t just losing our baby, but the idea that I’d never be able to have a child. That’s what destroyed our relationship.”

“Emmett is going to kill me for this one, but we can relate.”

Trinity’s gaze dipped to Melinda’s midriff. “You can’t have children?” she whispered.

“My husband and I are doing IVF. We just did our first round. I’m freaking out that I could be pregnant, but he’s gone, so I’m waiting to find out. I’m almost forty, so the older I get, the harder it will be. However, I’m getting sidetracked.” She blew out a puff of air. “I’m just going to say it... Emmett can’t father a child, but he didn’t want to spend the money on fertility treatments and all that. He just wanted to adopt, and I wanted to try to have a baby the natural way. I became so desperate to have a child that I pushed him right out the door.”

“Not being able to give someone something they want can change a person.” Trinity’s heart went out to both Melinda and Emmett, but she could especially relate to him. “Alex and I struggled. Not only were we grieving the loss of our child, but he never looked at me the same way after the hysterectomy. Less than a year later, I found out that he was having an affair. He’s married now with a kid on the way.”

“Oh. Wow. That has to hurt something awful.” Melinda’s face contorted as if she’d eaten sour candy. It was like someone had given her a little jab to the gut.

“I’m sorry if that hit a little too close to home,” Trinity said. “It’s not the same thing.”

“No. I never cheated on Emmett. Nor did he on me. But I have to say, hearing it shows me how selfish I was—how selfish Iam.”

Trinity took Melinda’s hand. “Wanting to have a child that grows inside you is not self-centered. I don’t know how either of you processed his inability to have kids. I can only tell you that Alex didn’t take it well with me. He was angry and wanted to sue the hospital for negligence. He was more upset that I lost my uterus than a child. It was more about the potential of life than life itself for him.”

“That’s harsh.”

“I know.” Trinity allowed the flood of despair that mixed with the deep-seated lurking darkness of her soul to come to the surface. But every once in a while, they had to rise, and this felt like a safe place to do it. “I often wonder what kind of father he’ll make. Will the child be a whole person to him, or will he live vicariously through his kid? Looking back on my life with Alex, while he was kind and decent, he wasn’t as loving as I thought he was. He went through the motions, but it was all superficial. I’m not sure he understands what true love is.”

“That’s sad, especially when I can see how deeply you loved him.”

“I did.” There was no denying how much she’d cared for Alex. She’d given him her entire being, and he’d taken it without giving much back.

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