Page 19 of Savage Queen (Blood Empire 3)

Chapter 7

Harlow

“Shh,” Rosie says fromsomewhere next to me. “Mama’s tired. Let her sleep.”

“Okay, sweetie. Let's go make some breakfast for her,” Cass answers. My eyes tear up as I open them. My back is to them, and I stare at the photo on Rosie’s night stand. It’s of me, her, and Cass at her birthday party.

The door clicks behind them, and I let the tears flow freely. Waking this morning, I realized something terrible, something that scares the shit out of me.

At some point while I was held by Triver these past few weeks, something broke inside me. Queenie took over, but this time, I didn’t get protected from what happened. I was there, watching it all unfold.

Before, I’d just let her take over and hide away for a bit. And after a while, Queenie and I started to bleed into one person. But now, it's like that rope that was holding us together snapped. She's still here, always will be, but it's like we're each our own person now, much like Beast and Neo are. I can feel it.

For the first time in ten years, I feel like that eighteen-year-old girl who stood outside this very house and got her heart broken.

I feel... human, like I can be taken down, like I can die. I’m not as important as I led myself to believe.

I’m feeling all kinds of things I haven’t felt in years, things that I worked so hard to block out. What happened was like someone throwing ice water on my reality.

I’m broke, dirty, and everything hurts. My mind, body, and soul.

I cry harder knowing that everyone outside this room knows what's happened to me, and they still love me either way.

I can admit it to myself right now, but I can’t deal with all these new emotions. I’m gonna shove them in this little box in the back of my mind for now and put on a happy face, because what else can I do? I don’t know how to let anyone help me. I’m not sure if anyone can.

I don’t want to block everyone out. The idea of losing them scares me more than what’s happened to me the last few weeks.

They’ve taken over my heart; my cold, black, broken heart. They each took a piece, called it their own, and started putting me back together.

One thing I do know is, I won’t let him win. I won’t let Triver take them from me again.

Sitting up, I take a deep breath, wipe the tears from my eyes, and do something I’ve never done before. I’m gonna be Harlow, and fake Queenie.

When I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, I had to make a decision. It was me, Harlow. Queenie pretty much said, peace out, time to learn to deal with your trauma or lose everyone you love.

I have no doubt she’ll come out and take over when it’s time to play. But when it comes to my family? That needs to be all me.

Gathering my hair on to the top of my head, I use one of Rosie’s hair ties and make a messy bun.

“Dear God, girl,” I groan, getting a good look at myself in the mirror. I have dark circles under my eyes, my face is thin and almost sunken in. I should probably go to the hospital. But that would cause more trouble than it's worth.

My stomach growls, reminding me what I do need is food.

“Alright, Harlow, put on that happy face. Time to fake it til you make it,” I tell myself.

When I open Rosie’s door, I can smell breakfast being made. “Yes,” I groan, letting my feet and nose guide me to the kitchen.

I can hear people talking, and as soon as I enter the kitchen everyone goes quiet.

“Rosie, honey, since you're done eating, can you go with Sam and help feed Uncle Neo’s animals?”

“Again?” She groans, but my eyes are on the pile of bacon on the table.

I beeline over to it, leaning between Dean and Axel as I grab a handful of bacon and shove a few pieces in my mouth.

“So good,” I moan, my eyes roll back as I chew. “Want some?” I ask Axel, who's just staring at me. He shakes his head no, and I shrug. “More for me,” I mumble around another mouthful.

Grabbing a napkin, I wipe the grease off my hands and mouth before I take a seat in Axel’s lap.

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