Page 41 of The I Do Over

Three days.

That number used to give him peace and comfort. It was always that point when he knew he would be ready to move on.

But not this time.

Wouldn’t it be a real kick in the ass if that was all he and Maddie had?

And while he’d been doing his best to distract himself from his shameful emotions, he’d cleaned the house, done some laundry, and pretty much piddled around until Maddie texted to let him know she’d made it home safely. She ended the message with a bunch of hearts so he took it as a good sign and finally allowed himself to relax.

For now.

As he had walked around his house, it hit him how quiet it was. It was something he’d never noticed before, but after having Maddie stay with him he realized just how painful the silence could be and that started freaking him out too.

Essentially, he was a mess and had no idea what the hell to do about it.

“Where’s Daniel?” he casually asked as he sat down at his desk.

“Josie had an appointment with her ob-gyn and he went with her,” Xander replied, putting his feet up on his own desk. “You okay?”

“What? Why?”

With a chuckle, Xander shook his head. “Because I recognize that uncomfortable look and defensive tone.” Pausing, he clasped his hands behind his head. “I heard about Maddie showing up and know you spent the last few days with her. So again, are you okay?”

Groaning, Knox mimicked his friend’s pose. “You know, I always hated this shit.”

“What shit?”

“This. Sitting around and talking about our feelings. We never did that until we started this business and Daniel met Josie. You and I used to mock the hell out of him for it, and then you went and got involved with Daisy.”

Xander simply shrugged. “Your point?”

“I never wanted to do that,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to be needy or share anything about my private life. I’m not comfortable with it.”

“Yeah, we all know that and believe me, you tend to only share when you’re either really pissed off or totally wasted. Which are you right now?”

That made him chuckle. “Sadly, neither. I’m just fucking confused.”

“Been there.”

“I know. I remember.”

“Look, I’m not going to sit here and beg you to tell me what’s going on. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. If you don’t, I’ll respect your privacy. Just don’t bring your bad mood here and then get all butt-hurt when we ask you what’s wrong.”

“I didn’t say I was in a bad mood,” he argued. “I said I was confused.”

Another shrug.

They sat in companionable silence for several moments while Knox tried to figure out if he should talk about the things he was struggling with or if it would be better to just keep it to himself.

With a weary sigh, he finally spoke. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You were just as anti-relationship as I am. What was it about Daisy that made you change?”

He waited for his friend to mock him, but…he didn’t.

“It wasn’t a decision I consciously made,” Xander replied after a minute. “It was supposed to be casual. And secret.” He grinned. “I figured we’d hook up every now and again and it would be okay. But then I started seeking her out because I just wanted to see her. Like I missed her when she wasn’t around.” Then he shook his head. “And the crazy thing is that she never pushed, you know? Like she was willing to accept my crazy-ass terms without ever complaining. I was the one who started pushing for more and believe me when I tell you no one was more surprised than me.”

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