He’d treated her no better than a casual hookup.
And sadly, part of him really wanted her to leave.
That last one angered him the most.
He was a damn mess right now and had no right kissing her—and he certainly had no right carrying her up to his bedroom and making love to her.
Making love. Right. What you just did had zero to do with love. It was just sex.
That was partially why he wanted her to leave. Knox knew he screwed up and this entire situation was messing with his head. He was angry with Maddie; he spent years telling himself how much he hated her and how she had destroyed his life and yet the second she showed up, all he could think about was…well…what they just did.
I seriously loathe myself…
He shouldn’t have lied to her earlier. At that moment, it seemed like the thing to do. She was beating herself up and getting upset and…hell, he’d always had a soft spot for her. The thought of seeing her cry was just too much for him to deal with, so he’d said what he thought needed to be said to defuse the situation.
Yeah. I forgive you. We were young and stupid and…it just wasn’t meant to be.
That was lie number one.
He didn’t forgive her. Granted, his life worked out quite well and he was happy, but…this wasn’t the life he had envisioned for himself. Her betrayal set him on a path of detachment and distrust. It was why he never got serious with a woman. It didn’t matter how great she was or how things were going, Knox gave himself a three date rule and then he moved on.
There was a far less chance of getting hurt that way.
And if you say you sent me letters, then…you sent me letters.
That was lie number two.
Yeah, he still wasn’t sure how he felt about that one. It all seemed a little too convenient and, again, he had trust issues. The whole letter thing seemed like the perfect way to gain some sympathy from him because there was no way to prove it.
You made a mistake and, to be honest, we were both wrong. We never should have lied on the license, so…we’re both to blame.
That was lie number three.
Knox had never looked back and thought they made a mistake. If they kept quiet about their marriage for another month, Maddie would have turned eighteen and they could have renewed their vows and everything would have been legal. That was their original plan. But once they had gotten home, she got cold feet and talked him into telling their families, so…really…that was on her—her mistake. His only mistake was not trying harder to stop her. And yet the only one who truly got punished was him.
But the biggest lie was the one he told himself just moments ago.
It was just sex.
Bullshit.
Right now, there was a war waging within him. Part of him wanted to pull her close and crawl under the blankets before ordering them some dinner, and the other part wanted to tell her to get dressed and go.
Beside him, Maddie shifted, putting some space between them.
And then shifted a little more.
Oh…so maybe I’m not the only one having second thoughts…
But instead of making him feel better, it bothered him.
That’s when it hit him just how confused he truly was.
It would be easy to let her leave and they could both just move on, but…there was still something there—something that was going to eat at him and eat at him until he spent another dozen or so years making himself crazy. He didn’t want to go that route again. He didn’t want to give Maddie or anyone the power to dictate his mood, his feelings, or his life.
Glancing over at her, an idea came to mind. For years Knox had grown detached from just about everything and everybody—with the exception of Daniel and Xander—and the woman who was naked beside him was the reason. He wanted his life back. He wanted to feel something again.
He wanted revenge.