Page 18 of Impossible

“Thanks, Riley. Wow, well that went by fast. It’s already almost four.” Liam looks at his watch.

I begin to fold up the boxes that I put in the corner of the room.

“My help stops here. I’m not moving these things downstairs.” I point to the boxes that I probably overpacked with clothes.

Liam laughs. “I wouldn’t let you if you tried to carry those things. You have done enough. In fact, I’m going to treat you to dinner tonight. What do you say? Are you free?”

I have to think about it for a second. “Yeah, I am. But you don’t have to do that.”

“Well, I want to. You can experiment with me, see how Harper does at a restaurant. I’ve been nervous to take her and wind up with a fussy baby and have to bail.”

“You want to gooutfor dinner?” I ask, a little shocked.

“Well, I’m not prepared to cook. Nor, would you want me to. And I can do better than treat you to takeout.”

“I don’t think I’m dressed for a restaurant.” I look down at my yoga pants and tank top.

“We will swing by your place on the way. Come on, you already admitted you don’t have any plans.” He’s got me there!

“Okay. Where are we going?” I start to head to Harpers room to pack a diaper bag. “We should pack some extra clothes in case this one has another diaper explosion.”

Liam makes a face. “Ugh, those are the worst.”

Once we have a bag packed for Harper, Liam and I get into his car and make our way to my apartment.

“Do you remember where I live?” I ask him as he is pulling out of his neighborhood.

“How many times did I pick Becca up at your place after she drank too much?” he lifts his eyebrows at me.

I giggle. “Good point.”

It feels good to talk about Becca like this. Recalling memories of her that put a smile on your face. It was so hard in the beginning to think about her without shedding a tear. It’s only been three months since Becca passed, but the days are not as depressing. Acceptance is a funny thing. Sometimes it feels like you’re okay with what happened even though you can never be okay with it. I’ll never understand why she had to go so soon, but I accept that it was her time. I don’t know any other way to live with her death. If I don’t just accept it, I’ll live in anger forever.

Liam and I spend the car ride listening to music. I look around every couple minutes to check on Harper. She is staring at her toys hanging from a car seat with a smile on her face. I can’t help but smile myself.

“What’s so funny?” Liam asks me.

“She is smiling now, like on purpose. Have you noticed?”

“It’s awesome, isn’t it? I didn’t think it was real until the third time she smiled at me, after I made some faces at her. It was such a cool feeling. She’s been doing it for about a week or so now.” He is beaming while telling me this. I can’t help but smile back at him.

When we get to my apartment, I tell him to stay put and I will be back in five minutes. I race into my apartment and ditch my clothes for a pair of jeans and a V-neck sleeveless top paired with a dressy pair of sandals. I rip my hair out of its ponytail and run a brush through it. After touching up my makeup, I spray myself with some perfume and run out the door, back to the car.

“That was fast. I thought five minutes meant fifteen.” Liam looks at me surprised.

He looks down at my chest and I see him bite his lip. He clears his throat and looks back out the window.

I laugh it off, thinking I imagined what I just saw. There’s no way he was just effected by my chest. “Well, I never was a fussy girl. You never did tell me what restaurant you had in mind.”

“I was thinking Bella Via in Highland Park. They have a nice outdoor seating area where I can escape quickly if Harper gets fussy.”

“Oh, I love that place.” I clap my hands in excitement.

Liam drops Harper and I off at the door to grab a table while he finds parking. They seat us in the back outside seating area which has a string of lights hanging above us, giving an intimate feel to the area. Once I sit down, I reach for Harper to take her out of her car seat. She is sitting on my lap when Liam walks into the back, looking around. He spots us and his face breaks out into a smile.

“There you guys are!” he joins us at the table.

“Here we are.” I take both of Harper’s hands and raise them in the air. When I bring them back down to her belly, I tickle her. Her big smile envelopes her face.

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