Page 16 of Impossible

Chapter Eight

Riley

I wake up in my apartment and grab a cup of coffee, while I read one of my books in my favorite chase chair. One of my favorite times to read is during my morning cup of coffee. It’s a completely guilt free time where I can do what I want without feeling like I should be accomplishing something. My current book is a steamy book about a firefighter and a teacher. The scenes in it are enough to make me want to go back to bed to release some of my built up tension. But once my coffee is gone, my mind starts racing with my to-do list for the day.

The first thing on my list is to call Becca’s mom. I grab my phone off of the coffee table and find her name in my contacts.

“Hello,” she answers right away.

“Hi, Shirley. It’s Riley.”

“Hi, dear. How are you?” she asks.

“I’m doing alright. How are you doing?”

I hear her sniffle on the phone. I feel bad that it has taken me this long to reach out to her since the funeral. I didn’t think about how she would be handling everything which sounds so selfish of me right now. Why was I only focused on Liam and Harper?

“I’m hanging in there. I miss her every second.” I hear the break in her voice as she tries to get the words out.

“I miss her too. Have you gotten around to seeing Harper lately?”

“Oh, I um, saw her a couple weeks ago.”

That’s odd. Why has she not seen Harper for a couple weeks? Maybe mom was right and she really is struggling with being around all the reminders of Becca and what she is missing. For how crazy Becca is, her mother is the opposite, very reserved. I wonder if part of Shirley’s issue is that she also doesn’t want to be an inconvenience to Liam. Becca would just demand her mother come over, Liam isn’t going to push or ask anyone to come over.

“Well, that’s good. She has grown a lot in the last couple weeks.”

“Oh, have you seen a lot of her?” she sounds surprised.

“Yes, I have. I’m actually watching her two days a week during the summer while Liam is back at work. It’s been a lot of fun spending the time with her.” She is silent at my answer, so I continue. “You should come over one afternoon and spend some time with us. Or if you are working, we can meet you for lunch at a park and take a stroll.”

I feel like I can hear her thoughts going crazy as she works out what to say to me. “That would be lovely dear, thank you. I know I’m a terrible grandmother. It just…hurts to go over there sometimes. To see what my daughter is missing out on.”

“You’re not a terrible grandmother. You’re a grieving mother who is doing her best. There is no manual for losing a daughter. You ‘re doing the best that you can. But maybe if we meet at a park, outside of the home, it would be easier.”

“Yes, I think that might actually help. Are you free sometime next week? I could take a long lunch.”

“Absolutely! Let’s talk later to set a day and place.”

“I look forward to it. Thank you, Riley, for reaching out.”

“It’s my pleasure. I will talk to you soon, Shirley.”

I’m so glad that I reached out to her. She is clearly struggling right now. This will be good for her. She needs to find a way to spend time with her granddaughter without being crushed by the reality of Becca being gone. I’m sure it will take a while, but it will never happen if she doesn’t try.

I told Liam that I would be over around one to help with the packing. This gives me enough time to get in a run before I shower and have some lunch. It’s a beautiful summer day, so I decide to go for a run through the path along the Openlands Lakeshore Preserve. The views of Lake Michigan are beautiful. While I run along the water, I feel the breeze hit my face and can’t help but smile. It reminds of all the times Becca and I would come here together for a run. We always talked about the wind off the lake, how it was the best part of running this trail. These moments are the times that you find hope that your loved ones are still with you. I can still hear Becca complaining, telling me I run too fast or we have gone far enough. She would tell me she hates running with me but always insisted on doing it anyways. Eventually, her moans and grunts became a comedic distraction for me. I could forget I was even tired because I was so focused on laughing at her antics.

When I finish my run, I’m feeling happy and at peace. I take my time as I drive back home, shower, and eat lunch. When I arrive at Liam’s, I start to get butterflies in my stomach, thinking about what we are about to do. There’s no way this is going to be easy for either of us. I knock on the door and wait a couple minutes, wondering where he could be. Suddenly, the door flies open, and Liam is standing there in just a towel, with water dripping down his body. I go to speak, but I’m stunned into silence. I can feel the blood coursing through my body. I feel overheated as my breathing starts to become labored. My eyes focus in on a droplet of water that is running down his chest right now. It falls over his nipple and continues down the ridges of his stomach. I can’t take m eyes off of this droplet as I watch it fall until it comes into contact with his towel and disappears. What is happening right now? Why is my body reacting this way toLiam? I mean Liam is and always was a very good looking guy. But I’ve seen him without a shirt before, I have seen many men without shirts, and I haveneverfelt this reaction. This is Liam. Becca’s Liam. What I’m feeling iswrong! This has to be because I haven’t been with a man in a while, or maybe it’s from the book I was reading this morning. I knew I should have taken care of myself!

“Riley, I’m so sorry. Harper was being fussy all morning. I never got the chance to shower. I thought I had enough time for a quick one.” Harper uses this time to begin crying. Liam is noticeably stressed out as he runs his hand through his wet hair. I try not to look at his bulging biceps when he does.Stop it now!

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll grab her so you can take your time and finish up. Where is she?” I ask as I step inside and slide off my sandals.

“She’s upstairs in my bathroom sitting in her bouncy seat.”

I follow him upstairs. As I’m walking behind him I try not to look at his butt, I do. The towel is tight and shows off what he is sporting. When we reach the top of the stairs, I keep my head on the ground the rest of the way to the bathroom. Once we’re in there, I make a beeline to Harper. Grabbing her out of the seat, she calms as soon as she is in my arms. This gives me enough of a distraction to focus and get my mind straight.

“Come in, baby girl. Let’s go hang out downstairs.”

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