Page 14 of Impossible

When I’m done, I look up and see Riley’s eyes glistening. I can’t believe I just poured my heart out to her. I feel kind of bad about unloading all of this on her, but it also felt really good to say it. She reaches over for my hand.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be in your position, but I think everything you’re feeling is normal. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Becca knows how much you love her. That’ll never go away. But if it’s hurting you to see these reminders of her around, it’s not a betrayal to pack them away. You don’t have to get rid of everything. You can just box it up and put it in storage for now. Maybe even just start with one room.”

“I don’t know. I can’t imagine packing up piece by piece of her and putting it away.” I feel a tear slip and run down my cheek. I reach up to wipe it away, slightly embarrassed for letting Riley see me like this.

“Do you want me to help you? I can come over one weekend and we can do it together. You shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

“You would do that?” I ask, surprised by her willingness to help me.

“Of course, I would do that. When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I care about Harperandyou? I want to help in any way that I can. Becca was my best friend. She would want me to make sure her family is alright. How about I come over this Saturday?”

I hesitate for a second, thinking if I’m really ready to start packing her memories away. Then, I think about how much each reminder sets me back and decide this is something I need to do.

“Yeah, that would be great. Maybe we can just start with my bedroom? I’m not sure I can handle doing the whole house right now.”

“Of course, whatever you want. I’ll come over around lunch time and bring you some food. I can bring a bottle of bourbon if it will make it easier.”

I laugh. “That’s not a bad idea. If we didn’t have to watch Harper, I think I would take you up on that.”

She squeezes my hand before letting go and taking her last bite of chicken. She begins to pick up the plates and take them over to the sink. Harper uses this time to begin to fuss and wiggle around in her seat. I’m surprised she lasted that long without getting cranky. I unbuckle her and pick her up out of her seat. When I turn around, Riley is already preparing her bottle for her. It’s nice to have someone else so in tune to Harper’s needs. Harper and I wait by the bottle warmer as she begins to grow more upset by the second.

“I’m just going to get these in the dishwasher and head out,” Riley tells me.

I grab the bottle from the warmer and head over to the couch to feed Harper.

“Thanks again for dinner. I enjoyed talking to you. Sorry I was such a downer.”

“I had a good time too, Liam. I’m glad we got the chance to talk.” She puts the final plate in the dishwasher and begins packing her things. “Okay, I’m going to head out and leave you two alone. See you on Saturday?”

“See you Saturday. Bye, Riley.”

She lets herself out and I relax on the couch watching Harper suck down her milk. My mind starts to think about Riley and how easy she was to talk to tonight. She has become such a big part of my life in a short amount of time. I hope Becca is looking down and is smiling when she watches her best friend take care of her baby girl.

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