Page 57 of Impossible

Chapter Twenty-Four

Riley

It’s been four weeks since the incident. Four weeks without hearing Liam’s laugh or feeling his touch. Four weeks without seeing the smile on Harper’s face when I walk through the door. Four weeks of tormenting myself for thinking I was worthy of the love of not only Liam, but his family. I should’ve known that this would all come crashing down like this. I’ve never been the type to be so daring and take what I wanted. Being with Liam felt too good to be true, he was making me feel things that I didn’t even know existed. I’m always so safe when it comes to my expectations of life, of what it is I think I can achieve. Why didn’t I realize nothing in life can be that good? It was a moment of weakness.

I feel bad that I wasn’t strong enough to endure the criticism from everyone. That I couldn’t take hearing him talk about how much he wishes Becca was still here, because of course I do too. I miss my best friend. She would be the one I would turn to for answers right now. I try to block out her voice, but it keeps threatening to break through.No one ever told you to give him up, Riley. You’re doing this to yourself. Stop being afraid!

But Iamafraid. I’m afraid of people hating me. Afraid of them constantly comparing me to Becca. Afraid of Liam waking up every morning seeing my face, and wishing it was someone else’s.

It’s a cool Saturday in late September. My parents wanted to meet for dinner in the city. I’ve been avoiding everyone’s requests to see me, even Peyton’s. She has reached out a couple times, trying to set something up, but I’m too chicken shit to respond. Finally, my mother wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, here I am, at a restaurant downtown waiting for my parents.

I see them walk in while my sister, Stacey, follows behind them. I didn’t even know she was in town. Sometimes she is in for such a short period of time on business that we don’t have time to connect. I find that I’m kind of relieved that she's here to take some of the attention off of me. When they reach my table, I stand up to give my parents a hug. Stacey then grabs me and gives me a huge squeeze.

“Hey, sis,” she says while hugging me.

“Hey. I didn’t even know you were in town."

“Things are finally slowing down at work, so I thought a visit home was overdue. It was last minute or I would have called you.”

I didn’t realize how nice it would be to have my sister around during a time like this until now. She is younger than me and I’ve never liked to unload any of my issues on her. It actually feels like she grew up overnight and became this successful woman. One who is old enough for me to lean on, maybe even confide in.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” I tell her as we take our seats. “How is D.C. going?”

“Oh, gosh. It’s wonderful and stressful. I love what I do and feel like I’m helping make a difference sometimes. Other times I want to get out of it altogether when I see so many people play dirty. I’ve been considering moving home. Maybe working at Mom’s firm as a paralegal.”

“I told you, just tell me when and I will find you a spot,” Mom says to her.

“That would be amazing. I’d love to have you home,” I tell her.

I like the thought of getting more time with my sister now that she is out of college and settled into adulthood. The last time she lived in the same city as me, she was in high school.

The night progresses and I find myself forgetting about my problems and enjoying the evening. Rarely do I enjoy these dinners out, but the dynamic seems to be shifting with my sister here. It’s like my parents have relaxed a bit. I’m relaxed and sporting a nice wine buzz when my mom looks at me with some concern etched in her face that I normally don’t see from her.

“So, how are you doing, Riley?” she asks.

I find the question a bit odd since we're over an hour into the dinner.

“Um, I’m good. School has been busy. The kids are starting to get into the routine so things are getting easier in the classroom.”

She looks at my dad then back at me. “What about outside of school?”

“What about it?” I look over at Stacey who shrugs her shoulders, clearly not knowing what she is insinuating.

“We ran into Shirley and Robert.” My heart sinks. What did they say to my parents? Did they talk about how awful of a daughter they have. How horrible of a person I am? “She told us what happened at the Brady’s house.”

“What happened?” Stacey asks, looking concerned now.

“It was nothing. Honestly, I would rather forget it ever happened.”

“She was rather regretful about the things she said to you,” my mom tells me.

I look up at her, shocked by her words. “She was?”

“Yes. I have to say, I was shocked and sad to hear that you were so seriously involved with someone that you were going to their parents house and yet, we had no idea.”

“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, we hadn’t told anyone. I was going there that night to announce it, I suppose.” I rest my face in my hands in embarrassment. “I don’t even know what we were planning to do that night. It wasn’t handled very well. Do you guys hate me? Do you think I’m the worst?”

“Okay. I’m going to stop everyone right here. No one is allowed to continue until you tell me what you guys are talking about?” Stacey demands.

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