Page 54 of Impossible

“Absolutely.” He leans down and kisses me. The tension in my body almost evaporates at the touch of his lips to mine. What this man does to me.

I’m on my way to feeling calm again when I hear the sliding door open. Shirley is standing there with her jaw hitting the ground. I’m frozen as I watch my best friend’s mom catch me kissing her son-in-law. I know he isn’t really her son-in-law anymore, but it feels like there is no difference in this moment. She looks at Liam and then back at me, waiting for one of us to say something. But I can’t. I’m frozen and speechless.

“Shirley,” Liam whispers.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Shirley shouts, and she is not a shouter.

“Shirley. I’m so sorry you walked in on that. We...we...,” I stutter over my words.

“You....were kissing Becca’s husband. That’s what you were doing. My Becca, the one who died just seven months ago. Yourbestfriend, if I recall correctly.”

“Shirley, I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Liam says.

Shirley looks surprised by his admittance to our relationship. Like it was something that’s been going on for a while. I want to tell her this is new, but is that really the truth? Oh, gosh I’m the absolute worst. Seven months is not a lot of time. How could we think this was appropriate at all?

“Find out? How long has this been going on?” she asks.

“I’m not sure that matters,” Liam responds. “I know it comes as a surprise, but.”

“No, there is no but there. How could you do this to Becca?” she asks Liam, then turns to me. “And you. After all you and Becca have been through, this is what you do in her honor?”

Tears are streaming down my face. I hate that she thinks my love for Liam makes my love for Becca any less. All my life I have tried to do the right thing, and I was so sure that what Liam and I had was right. Now, I feel like a fool.

“Shirley. I’m sorry that this hurts you, but it has nothing to do with my love for Becca,” Liam defends.

“Oh, really? You think she would beokaywith this? How much could you have really loved her in the first place if the moment she’s gone you move onto her best friend?”

“That’s enough!” Liam raises his voice. “I will not tolerate people questioning my love for Becca. She was the love of my life and I lost her. I never got to see her be a mother to our daughter and I never will. I would give anything to have her back, to live the life we dreamed of living together. She was the love of my life!”

His wordsgutme. Of course, Becca was the love of his life. Why have I not stopped to think about who I really am in this relationship? I’m the second choice, the one you settle for when your true love is gone. If he had a choice, he would toss me aside in an instant to have Becca back again. And heshould! Of course, he should. But that makes me feel so...small. So unwanted...disposable. Will I ever be able to be with him and not think about that fact? That he will always look at me as the alternative to his ideal life.

I need to get out of here now. I don’t even think about it, I just take off running. I can’t face anyone right now. I don’t even know how I’ll get home. I just know that I need to be away from everyone, Liam included. When I'm at the end of the driveway, I look left and right, trying to see through my own tears. I resign myself to the fact that I will need to find an intersection and call Tiffany to come get me. Taking off to my left, I walk through the pain of everything I just left behind me. Harper, my sweet little peanut. She has brought so much joy to my life in the last seven months. Liam, the man I can’t imagine falling out of love with. I felt like he was the only man to ever really get me, to see through my insecurities to who I really am inside. I felt bold and confident when I was with him.

“Hey,” I hear a shout. When I turn around, Jackson is in his car. “Get in.”

I don’t want to, but it’s better than bringing anyone else into this embarrassment so I hop in the car and he speeds off.

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