Page 40 of Impossible

Chapter Seventeen

Liam

I don’t know what just happened. I think I just experienced the best blowjob of my life, likely to remain number one forever. Riley just completely took me by surprise. It’s the quiet ones with their heads always in a book that surprise you. Apparently, there are some valuable things you can learn in a book, who knew!

“I have always wanted to try that,” she smiles up at me, looking adorable as her innocence shines through. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Likedit? That was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.”

I know that sounds dramatic to talk like that over a blowjob, but I don’t care. I pull her closer into my chest and kiss her forehead.

“Can I get you anything? Water, wine, beer...another orgasm?” I offer to her.

She giggles at my question, even though I am not joking at all, then leans her head back down on my chest. “No, I'm perfectly fine right here.”

“Want to watch a movie?” I suggest.

She looks down at her watch. “It’s already almost nine. Won’t you be tired for work in the morning?”

“I’ve been tired for the last six months. I don’t think a little movie at nine is going to kill me. Besides, it’s Friday tomorrow. If I'm extra tired, at least I know I have the weekend ahead of me. Plus, I want to spend more time with you. I don’t want to you to leave right now.”

“Okay, a movie it is!”

She walks over to the end of the couch to grab a blanket then joins me in my arms again as she lays it over us. We settle into a movie as we cuddle together, leaving me feeling satisfied in so many more ways than just sexually.

I must have dozed off during the movie because I wake to Riley giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s late, I’m going to get going.” She gets up and starts to head for my front door.

I think I spot a glimpse of tears in her eyes when she walked passed me. Jumping off the couch, I follow her to the door where she is throwing her things together in a hurry.

“Riley?” I ask. She doesn’t look up at me as she grabs the door knob. I push the door closed and turn her around as I look into her glistening eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just...went to go grab some water and saw your wedding picture hanging on the wall on the way. You and Becca...mestanding there as the maid of honor. And I just felt...like I betrayed her.”

My chin falls to my chest as I let out a loud exhale. Shit, I didn’t even think about the fact that I had these photos all over the house still. I can understand why that would set her off after what we just did for the first time. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a weird amount of guilt brewing inside of me as well. Thinking back to my conversation with Jackson, I realize that it was probably inevitable for me to have confusing feelings the first time I decided to move on with someone else.

Right now, I need to focus on making sure Riley is okay. I close the distance between us, cup her cheeks in my hands and do my best to wipe away her tears.

“Hey,” I say, then lean down to give her a kiss. “I know this is hard. It’s not easy for me either. We both loved Becca, and somewhere in the middle of helping each other out, wellyouhelping me out, something changed. We didn’t seek this out. Honestly, Becca loved you like a sister, and I think she would actually be laughing at this. She never took life too seriously anyway. What others found offensive, she found hilarious.”

I shake my head as I realize that I'm rambling. “I know I'm not making much sense. What I am trying to say, is that it’s okay to feel a bit guilty. We lost someone we loved and we don’t want to do anything that would upset her. I’ve just thought a lot about this and think we owe it to ourselves to see this out.”

She nods her head. “I know, you’re right. I’ve thought a lot about it too, and talked to some of my friends as well. It’s just going to take some time. I think we need to take it slow.”

“We can go as slow as you need to. Now you go home and get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow after work?” I ask.

She smiles. “Thanks, Liam. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

After she leaves I make my way upstairs to bed. When my head hits the pillow, sleep doesn't come quickly. I start to think about Riley and what would happen if things between us didn’t work out. Would she still want to be in Harper’s life? Am I being selfish by risking Harper having someone in her life that was so special to her mother? I hope I'm making the right decision, because one that leads to Riley not involved in Harper’s life would not be honoring Becca.

It’sSaturdayevening,atime that used to be filled with friends and drinks, to take a break from the responsibilities of adulthood that filled our lives during the week. Now, I'm hanging out on the couch while Harper plays in her bouncy seat next to me. Our weekends have been a bit of the same lately. Her and I hanging out while I watch sports and give her the play by play, like she cared or even understood what I was talking about.

Tonight, Riley is coming over with takeout and some wine to hang out. We talked on the phone for two hours Friday night until I was falling asleep, barely able to keep my eyes open. We spent some more time talking about Becca and confirmed that we are both okay with moving forward. We know that none of this is going to be easy. I am still grieving the loss of her, and probably always will be to some extent.

The door bell rings, making me fly off the couch, scurrying to answer it like a puppy excited to see it’s owner. When I open the door, Riley is standing there in a green summer dress and sandals, making my mouth salivate. I swallow down my arousal in what I hope is not a noticeable gulp. She smiles while raising her arms up holding two big bags of takeout food.

“I hope you’re ready to eat,” she says in a cheerful voice.

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