Page 35 of Impossible

Chapter Fifteen

Liam

I can see the war that is waging within her right now because I feel it too, but I also know that if I don’t kiss her, I will go crazy. I felt it from the moment I walked in the kitchen tonight and caught her dancing and singing again. I feel it when she looks at my daughter like she is the most important one in the room. And I feel it with every movement that she makes, the way she tucks her stray hair behind her ear when she gets nervous. I don’t know what any of this means, but I know I can no longer deny it.

I put my finger under her chin and lift her head so she can look into my eyes. I know everything I'm feeling is written in my eyes, and I want her to see it, to feel it. I see tears forming in her eyes, and want to take away all of her reservations, all of her fears.

“Riley,” I whisper. “Just feel it with me. Don’t fight it anymore.”

“Liam,” she softly replies.

I take her face into my hands and caress her smooth cheeks with my thumbs. When I take a step closer, she is pinned against the counter and I inch my mouth closer to hers until our lips are almost touching. I hold myself there, closing my eyes as I take in the sensations coursing through me. Much to my surprise, Riley closes the distance as she leans into my lips. The feeling is unlike anything I have experienced as we both are frozen in the moment, shocked by the power of the kiss. It feels like a lifetime before I feel the need to deepen the kiss and start to move my lips over hers. When she lets out a soft moan, I groan into her mouth in response and tilt her head to the side to get better access as my tongue finds hers.

We are both playing with each other, getting to know what the other likes. I give her time to show me what she wants then I take control and draw out long and deep strokes with my tongue. My body responds with the evidence of my arousal pressing up against her stomach. She responds by moving her hips back and forth against me. I grab onto the back of her neck, placing my other hand on her hip, as I take what I have wanted for weeks now. I start to slow the kiss down as I realize we shouldn’t push this too far too fast. Reluctantly, I pull my lips from hers, leaning my forehead against hers. I try to calm my racing heart as I work to catch my breath.

“Wow,” Riley whispers.

I pull away to look at her and see the surprise written all over her face. She is just as blown away by the kiss as I am. The knowledge brings a smile to my face that I try hiding by biting my lip. A small smile spreads across her beautiful face.

“Thanks for doing the dishes,” the smirk I was fighting is now a smile I cannot contain.

“Yeah, no problem. Thanks for...,” she begins to say but her head falls in her hands as she shakes her head back and forth. “I’m sorry, I can barely think after that kiss.”

I chuckle at how cute she is acting. I grab her cheeks and kiss her lips softly, making sure to keep it short and sweet so I don’t get carried away again.

“I know, I have wanted to do that for a while,” I admit to her.

“What are we doing, Liam?” she asks as her demeanor changes.

I let out an exhale, trying to figure out the best thing to say. “We are just letting whatever this is be...what it is. The truth is, I don’t know what we are doing. I’m scared! I’m afraid of offending people, of doing wrong by Becca, of feeling something for anyone else, but I also know I can't keep denying myself this. Do you think you can just be with me right now, not knowing what this is?”

“I don’t think I have a choice. I can't stop thinking about you.”

I smile at her reply. “Good! I’m glad we're on the same page. Now let’s go hang out for a bit before you leave.”

It’s Thursday, Riley’s day with Harper, and I am racing through my final minutes at work to get back to them. I wanted to ask Riley to come over last night after work, but thought that I should give her the day away from me to gather her thoughts. I know the step that we took was big for both of us and I'm sure her mind is racing. I just want to make sure that she doesn't try to talk herself out of it before she even gives us a chance. Whatever giving us a chance really means in this circumstance. Are we dating? I know I'm not ready to be in a serious relationship right now. Is she willing to wait for me to figure out my situation? What is my situation? A widowed spouse with a five month old daughter.

Once it hits five, I collect my things and stroll to my car. When I'm on the road, I pick up my phone to call Jackson. He is most likely at the hospital which is why I'm surprised when he picks up.

“Hello?” Jackson answers.

“Hey, man! I’m actually shocked you answered.” I reach around for my sunglasses, putting them on as the evening sun is shining directly into my eyes.

“You caught me at a good time, I was on my way to the cafeteria for some coffee. What’s going on?”

“Well, I was calling to tell you that I kissed Riley the other night.” It feels good to say it to someone, though it comes with some borderline guilty feelings as well.

“Wow! I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was not that. How was it?” I hear the commotion in the background as Jackson orders his coffee.

“It was good, really good. I thought it would be weird, but once we were there in the moment, it was anything but weird. Part of me still feels guilty though, man.”

“I think that was inevitable no matter who you moved on with or when you did. I’m sure it’s a natural feeling to have but don’t let that stop you. You know you deserve to move on and be happy.”

“I know, I do want to move on and I do want to be happy. You’re probably right, I would feel like this no matter when this happened. I might be feeling slightly guilty because I liked it so much, too much.”

That is what I'm feeling so bad about. I don’t ever remember a kiss making me feel like that.

“Well, you know, it’s okay to like a kiss. It’s new and exciting too. When you met Becca, you were younger, less experienced. You were probably too nervous to enjoy it.”

---