Page 31 of Impossible

Chapter Thirteen

Liam

It's been two days since the beach day with Harper and Riley. Two days of constantly thinking and fantasizing about Riley, followed by feeling guilty as soon as Becca pops in my head. I'm on the brink of losing it, when I finally decide to get in the car and head to Jackson’s apartment. He normally has his Saturday afternoons off, so I opt to surprise him. I just needed to clear my head and talk to someone about what is happening between Riley and me. We have gotten to a point where I can no longer ignore what I'm feeling. I damn well almost kissed her several times on Thursday.

Last night I tried to watch the Cubs game, but could not focus on it for longer than a couple minutes because I could not stop my brain from fantasizing about rubbing suntan lotion over her soft, silky body. Her sexy, fit body in that bathing suit. My mind had so many ideas on what I could do with her ass staring up at me. My first instinct is to criticize these feelings, but I can’t ignore them anymore. I need to sort this out and Jackson is the perfect person to talk to about it. He understands me and is not afraid to give it to me straight.

After I park the car in a way too expensive parking lot in the city, I place Harper on my hip, grab the diaper bag and head for the sidewalk. Harper is looking around, distracted by all the commotion going on downtown. Jackson, being the prominent heart surgeon that he is, lives in a high rise apartment next to the Chicago River. I knock a couple times on his door when we arrive at the top floor. A couple of minutes go by with no answer, making me think this was a stupid idea. Why did I come all the way down here without making sure he was home? It made sense back before Harper, but now I can't just put her back into the car and drive home. The front door suddenly swings open, cutting me off from my thoughts.

Jackson is standing there in jeans and a t-shirt, looking like he just got out of the shower with slightly wet hair.

“Hey, man,” he says to me, looking a bit surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Just thought we would stop by and surprise you. Hang out for a bit.”

“Oh, ummm,” he looks hesitant as he peaks behind his shoulder.

“Oh, dude. Do you have a lady friend here? I’m sorry...,” I begin to say to him but he cuts me off.

“No, no...it’s not that. It’s just, well there is a woman here, but she isn’t my... it’s not like that.” He is losing me here. I look at him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to clarify. “Just come in.”

I reluctantly walk in, not sure what is about to happen. Am I about to be stuck hanging out with Jackson and his one night stand?

He leads me to the couch, where I settle in with Harper. I sit her on my lap while Jackson sits next to us, looking nervous.

“Hey, man, I can go if you want me to,” I offer to him.

This is not like him. I've stopped by his place plenty of times before on a whim and he has never acted like this. He also doesn't shy away from telling me when he has a special someone in his room. Whoever is here, whatever is going on, is something different. Something he clearly doesn't know how to explain to me.

“No, stay. I want to hang out with you guys. I don’t get to see Harper enough as it is. Right, princess?” he smiles at Harper who gives a toothless grin back. “Plus, it’s not what you think it is. It’s just... one of my co-workers is staying with me for a while. She and her son, Will, are in the guest bedroom right now. I think they are just hanging out watching a movie.”

“Oh, okay. Well, that’s nice of you.” I don't understand why that was so hard to tell me.

I love Jackson, he is a really good guy, but this it completely out of character for him. Letting a mom and her son stay with him? That sounds like it would get in the way of his single lifestyle. I look around the apartment and suddenly start to see what his house has become. There’s a blue backpack by the front door, little boys sneakers, books on the coffee table that do not look like something Jackson would read, and a Nintendo switch game system hooked up to the tv. How long is a little while, because it looks like they moved in?

“Yeah,” Jackson side steps the entire conversation where he explainswhythey are living here. “Come here Harper girl!” he reaches out for her.

She willingly goes into her uncles arms and Jackson begins kissing her chubby cheeks. I didn't miss how he completely deflected the conversation where he tells me why these two have moved in with him.

“So, what brings you over here?” Jackson asks once he settles Harper on his lap. “I’m happy to see you, but this seems like an out of the ordinary visit."

“Am I that obvious?” I ask.

Jackson shrugs. “A little...or maybe I just know you too well. Tell me what’s going on.”

I sit on the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, as I try to gather my thoughts. I'm not sure how to even let the words fall from my mouth. It seems monumental to admit out loud what I'm feeling, and I suppose there is the fear that he will be appalled.

“What would you think of me if I told you I was starting to feel things for someone else?” I finally ask.

“Like feelings for another woman?” Jackson tries to clarify.

I shake my head up and down to confirm. When I look up at him, he seems to be thinking. He's probably debating on the nicest way to tell me that I'm a complete dick. And that's before he knows who I'm talking about.

“Go ahead and say it. I’m a horrible person!”

Jackson looks confused. “Why would I say that?”

“Because Becca has only been gone for five months.”

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