Page 35 of Staying in Clua

“Hey, so that would make you the lead singer in that group...” Right on time Rylie taps her fingers on the table like it’ll help her remember the name quicker. “You had a shaved head back then.”

“Tidal.” My throat constricts with the discomfort just saying the name brings, and I brave a look at Sonnie.

His unreadable stare scans my face, like he’s trying to put the bits together. All the things I haven’t told him.

“I’m lost.” Felix shrugs and takes a pull from his beer. “Who’s Duke? What’s Tidal?”

It’s Laia’s turn to roll her eyes. “Tidal was only one of the best bands ever. Would have been even better if it wasn’t for that flake they replaced you with.” Her cheeks turn pink when she meets my carefully blank gaze. “But you know what? Let’s talk about something else.”

“No, it’s cool.” I square my shoulders and grab the bottle of wine from the center of the table and an unused glass. “Duke is—was the lead singer of The Dukes, and my dad. And Tidal is”— I glance to where Sonnie has stayed suspiciously quiet— “was a band I started with my ex.”

“Sucks what he did to you.” Kenzi shakes her head, pity shining in her stare. “Cheating and getting you kicked out of your own band.”

Sonnie’s face stays neutral, but the accusation in his stare is undisguisable. You lied. You’re not like me.

A nagging chill tightens the back of my neck. “It did a bit.” I force my mouth to curve up and my eyes from his as I lift my glass. “What doesn’t kill you, right?”

“I’ll cheers to that.” Laia raises her bottle of water.

The others do the same.

“Must have been tough.” Felix pins me with clear blue eyes. “Being in a band when you hate big crowds. Sonnie told me—”

Sonnie coughs and pulls his arm from the back on my chair.

“Excuse me?” I narrow my eyes and glance between them, the chaotic noises of the busy restaurant fading beneath the whoosh in my ears. “I love big crowds.”

Felix frowns at Sonnie.

Sonnie clears his throat again.

Felix’s face drops. “Shit. Must have heard wrong.”

My teeth sink into the inside of my cheek. No.

Laia winces. Rylie and Kenzi exchange confused glances.

“Stan—” Sonnie’s fingers wrap around my bicep and he leans in, his breath tickling the shell of my ear, his familiar sandalwood and citrus smell filling my head. “That was before—I was going to tell you, I was—”

I lick my dry lips and recross my legs in my chair. Again. How can this be happening again? “I should—I need to go.”

This was a mistake. A huge fucking mistake.

I make it outside to the car park before my hand is grabbed from behind.

“Stan, wait.”

I keep my eyes on the erratic rise and fall of Sonnie’s chest and grind my teeth in an attempt to stop my chin from trembling.

“Look at me.” He tugs my hand. “Look. At. Me.”

Against my better judgement, I lift my eyes to meet his and release a breath, but my head is already shaking, the balmy night breeze lifting strands of my hair around my face.

“I told him you didn’t want the slot because I thought—” He tips his head back and glares up at the night sky. “I thought that after I fucked you, I wouldn’t want you around.”

I get it. I understand. I’d have probably done the same in his shoes. That doesn’t stop the sharp sting of disappointment though. In him. But most of all in me for putting myself in this position. Again. Or the swell of anger bubbling up my throat. “So, you just—” I jerk my hand from his grip. “You just manipulated the situation to get your own way? Nice Sonnie. Maybe you really did get more from your mom than your looks...”

I think he’d have looked less shocked if I’d actually slapped him. Something shutters behind his eyes, the blue-green muting, his mouth pressing into a hard line. “You lied too, Stanza.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, then stare down at my dusty biker-boots. “This was a mistake.”

And it looks like he agrees. By the time I lift my gaze he’s already walking away.

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