Page 89 of Fight Me Daddy

"What the fuck are you-"

I climbed into the tub fully dressed and cradled his cheeks in my palms. "You can hate me all you want!" I screamed as the dam broke and stupid tears poured down my face. "But I won't abandon you and I sure as fuck won't leave you alone right now." Calix stared up at me. "And I know I should tell you some shit like if you want to leave me you can but I can't do that, Tesoro. I can't. I'm a selfish asshole, but you're mine and I love you. Even if you hate me, I'll still love you."

Calix's eyes watered. "I'm so fucking lost."

I pulled his face against my chest and swallowed thickly as he sobbed. He clung to me as if I could save him, but the truth was that I would probably only drag him down. But I'd meant what I said. I wasn't capable of letting Calix go.

We stayed like that, holding onto each other desperately as his shoulders shook. I didn't move and I barely breathed. I ran my fingers through his hair and let him sob as tears continued to roll down my cheeks silently. He didn't need anymore on his plate from me.

The water cooled off and Calix finally sat back. He looked at me wearily. I reached out and wiped tears from his face leaving behind pink streaks of blood.

"Let's try this bath thing again," I said gently. I turned and pulled the stopper and drained the water. "Can you stand up for me?"

Calix moved this time and I helped him undress. I flipped the water on and plugged up the tub again before I helped him sit back down. I tossed my clothes over the edge and grabbed a bar of soap and a washcloth from the shelf beside the tub.

"Gabriele."

I gazed back at him with my heart in my throat. "Yeah?"

"I-I..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. This shit isn't your fault. Not all of it. Like you said, everyone makes a choice and I made mine. It's not on you."

I scoffed. "My life is a heap of shit. Things like this will always be my fault but..." I sucked in a deep breath. "I don't want to lose you. So if I have to grovel. If I gotta bleed to make you forgive me for this, I will. I'll do anything for you, il mio tesoro."

"I know," Calix said as he reached up and held out his hand. "Can you just hold me for a while?"

"Anything for you," I said as I sank down into the tub with him. I pulled Calix into my arms and held him tightly.

Calix didn't move. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and his fingers drew patterns on my arm and side. But he didn't speak and I didn't try to make him.

All I could do was hold onto him and show him that I would never let him go.

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