Page 44 of Salvation

I’m so selfish. I want him and I want Gabrial. I want both. I need both and I just said I’d give both up… but I lied.

I can’t. I’m not strong enough.

I won’t be able to handle that.

Oh my God… what did I just do?!

I’m lightheaded and on the verge of vomiting as I hurriedly get dressed. I can’t look at Luke.

What if this is the last time we’re together? What if he just decided I’m not worth the heartache and humiliation loving me entails?

After snapping my jeans, I remove the band that’s slipped loose, gather all my escaped hair up into a messy ponytail, and slip my shoes back on. Once I’m completely dressed, I turn back to Luke. He’s leaning against the door with his arms crossed… watching me.

His face is blank. There is no hint of what he’s thinking displayed there… nothing at all.

I don’t say anything. I just said enough and apparently sealed my own fate. I don’t intend to say another word.

I can’t.

Luke will have to be the one to end things for good.

Finally, he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. His hair is mussed up from my knees and hands. His chin and cheeks are covered with some five o’clock shadow and his blue eyes are staring holes into me.

He’s so sexy. He’s always so sexy. My gaze rakes his body, memorizing every bulge and line. If this is the last time I’ll be able to look at him like this, I don’t want to miss a thing. I want everything firmly imprinted in my mind.

His lips slightly tilt at the corners and my heart stills in my chest. Then he smirks. “Are you done fucking me with your eyes or do you need a few more minutes? I don’t think you spent enough time looking at my dick.”

I gasp and my face fills with bright color. “I’m sorry… I wasn’t… I didn’t…”

Laughing with a hint of embarrassment, he steps toward me. He points down. His engorged dick is clearly outlined through his denim.

My jaw drops open and I sputter, “Luke, oh my God…”

With another step, he takes me in his arms, holding me loosely. “You were and I don’t mind. But if you don’t stop, I’m going to have to whip it out and decorate the wall with some white cream.”

I bust out laughing at his commentary. My palm reaches out and I cup him. He groans and I feel him jerk in my hand.

Removing my hand, he says, “Stop it. Be good. Down girl.” Then, he leans his forehead against mine and looks into my eyes as we breathe in tandem. He whispers, “Now stop talking crazy, Hope. You can’t end things with me… or Gabrial… any more than I… or he, can end things with you.” Pulling my hand up, he presses it against his heart. Then, he places his palm over mine. I gasp as I realize our hearts are beating almost in perfect unison. Smiling down at me, his eyes crinkle at the corners but the remorse in them isn’t veiled. “As fucked up as all of it is, Hope… we’re connected.

“All of us…

“I don’t think we have a choice in who we love…

“It would be so much simpler if we did.”

We stand that way for a time and then he leans down to kiss me softly. He says, “How about our date now? What do you want to do? Whatever you want, remember?”

My eyes light up and I laugh as I grab my backpack purse from behind the desk. Walking past him, I reach the door of my office and hit the light switch, once again throwing the room into darkness. Luke is right behind me. Linking hands, we leave the shelter. We agree to leave my car there and I climb into his Mustang. He opens the moon-roof as he starts the engine. As it roars, he looks over at me and asks, “Where to, love?”

After the scene in my office, I want to do something lighthearted and just spend time with Luke, so I decide where we’re going on the spur of the moment.

Grinning at Luke, I place my palm on his thigh and laugh as he jumps. The car slightly accelerates, as he glances over at me and scowls.

Sticking my tongue out at him, I scrape his jean clad thigh with my short nails. The muscle jumps under my hand and I can’t prevent the smile of feminine pride that spreads over my lips. Glancing back at the road, he says, “Careful there.”

I laugh again as I look at his groin. It’s in shadows, but we pass under a streetlight, and I smirk. “Is that your gun Detective or are you just happy to see me?”

He guffaws and says, “Really? The Mask?”

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