Page 10 of False Start

“I drove around for a while.”

She glared at me over her shoulder, wordlessly calling me on my bullshit.

“You went to the bout up at Sid’s, didn’t you?”

Sid’s Aviation, a relic of an airport even before I was born, sat mostly unused, but Sid’s grandchildren so far had refused to sell despite some seriously lucrative offers. Selling meant the recreation derby league would likely lose the hangar they practiced and played in, and with derby being a big deal in Sid’s family for several generations, they would likely hang on as long as they possibly could.

“And if I did?” I asked, stretching my neck, tugging at the knots lodging in my tight muscles as she gave me the third degree.

“You haven’t even slept in your bed once and already you’re at it with the damn derby again.”

She sounded just like Patti—well, Patti with less tact.

“It was the last bout on the schedule…I think I’d have to go to more than one to classify it as being at it.”

She slapped her palms on the counter. “It’s not a joke, Cain.”

“No, it’s not,” I snapped. “But drilling me like I’m some addict that just fell off the wagon is pretty damn insulting, so if you want me to listen to what you have to say, how about you remember who’s older and have a little respect.”

She hung her head, her voice turning sad, slicing away at me with every syllable. “Roller derby cost me my only living brother. They took ever—”

“No,” I said, my voice hard and low.

Pushing away from the wall, I stepped up to her and took her rigid shoulders in my hands. I dropped a kiss on the top of her head and the tension radiating from her into my palms eased a fraction. “They didn’t take anything. I screwed up. There’s no one to blame here but me.”

“You and I both know that’s not entirely true.”

“I was the coach—the adult, Lilith. It’s on me.”

“God, that damn cop integrity of yours,” she said with a heavy sigh. “You’re here for such a short amount of time. Why would you risk dredging it up all over again? People are going to talk now.”

“People were going to talk anyway. There was no avoiding that. You need help and I want to give it. When Jordan gets back, I’m gone. It’s two months, tops.” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and dropped my chin on her head. For a second, just a second, it was like she was that little girl again. “Besides, what kind of trouble can I cause between now and then?”

“You forget I know you better than anyone.”

“I’ll be good. Scouts honor. It’s the off-season so while there might be talk for a few days, it will die down. I promise.”

“I wish I understood why you can’t stay away from the sport. I love it too…and I love our family ties to it. But for you, it’s just—I don’t know, it’s beating with a life of its own inside you.”

“Women took it over and made it their own. There’s something rather poetic about that after how it all started.”

She patted my hand where it rested on her shoulder and sighed. “Very true and not many men would recognize it. So, was the bout any good?”

“Not very. A waste of time.”

“I don’t know, a couple of the teams in the area are applying for the Women’s Roller Derby Federation so they’re getting better. Maybe it was just a bad night.”

“Where’d you hear about the WRDF?”

“Patti mentioned it.”

“Huh, she didn’t say anything to me about it.”

“Why would she…you’re not staying and even if you were…” Her words trailed off, leaving a heavy silence wedged between us full of harsh allegations and scandal.

Two months loomed before me, the time stretching out until it felt more like two years. Too tired to finish my beer, I let Lilith go. “If you don’t need anything, I’m going to head on up to bed,” I said, pouring the rest of my drink down the sink.

“Wait, you’ve got to try just one bite.”