“Fourteen of them,” I said without looking at her as I dropped another bolt in the bucket.
“Galloway Bay is only talking about one of them though.”
“Galloway Bay needs to mind its own business.”
“They are.”
“Yeah? How’s that?” I crouched under the track to slide in another bolt. I squinted up at her as sweat trickled in my eye. “By gossiping about her or by running their mouths about me?”
“Ouch,” she said with an exaggerated wince that told me my blunt assessment would do nothing to shut down her little inquiry. “I suppose both. But they’re right, though? You and Maisy?”
Or Mayhem…since we weren’t on a first name basis yet. I reached under and started loosening another nut on the shittiest section of the track I’d found so far. “Is there not supposed to be a woman for me, Lilith? Ever?” I knew this thing between Mayhem and me was a dead end, but I sure as hell didn’t need my sister who had the husband, the baby coming, and the one place that felt like home to the two of us telling me what I did and didn’t have the right to.
“I’m not saying that. You know I’m not saying that,” she said, her voice softening as she laid her hand on my shoulder.
Anger burned in my throat at the scathing words I swallowed. I cut her a glance that had her sliding her hand away. “So, what are you saying?”
“You forget who you’re talking to. I know you won’t stay.”
“Well,” I said, huffing out a breath, “I guess it’s good she didn’t ask me to.”
“She’s going to fall for you, you know?”
“Because I’m so irresistible?” I said with a humorless laugh. “I don’t see you talking about me falling for her.”
“Because I’m starting to figure out it might be a bit late for me to be worrying about that.”
“I’m not in love with her,” I said quietly, choking the words past the sudden lump in my throat.
I’d known her for all of five minutes. We’d been fighting for four minutes and fifty-nine seconds of them.
“Maybe not all in, but you wouldn’t have agreed to this if you weren’t well on your way,” she said with quiet confidence. “Is it really worth the pain?”
“Pain’s kept me company for how long now? I’ll be fine.”
She crouched down next to me, wincing as she settled in.
Just like that, I felt like an asshole for climbing under here. “Not your pain…hers.”
I thought about my first night home and the personal rivalry she battled on that track going head-to-head with Tilly.
About the mother who never returned to their room at the Beacon Motel.
The frayed green lace of her skate she didn’t dare throw away.
Her desperation to save Crossroads.
“She’s in pain too.” I wanted to snatch the words back. Four words that confirmed my sister’s every worry.
“Oh,” she said on a quiet sigh. She sucked in a breath and slapped her palms on her thighs. “Well—damn. I’ve run out of all judgment and sisterly warnings.”
I dropped my hands to my knees and laughed. My rigid shoulders relaxed and I nudged Lilith’s chin. When the hell had she become a woman? A full-blown adult woman who didn’t need her big brother anymore. “Don’t worry, it’ll only take a few hours with me for them to realize what a bastard I am. That’ll solve everything.”
“They’ll eventually respect you for it.” She grabbed ahold of one of the supports and pushed to her feet.
“Lilith?”
“Hmm?”