Page 124 of False Start

twenty-seven

“Where are we going?”I asked as he tugged me along the sidewalk.

He glanced back at me, a bit of a crazed look in his eye. “To the farm.”

“My place is right here. We can go up upstairs and talk, if you want.”

He glanced up as though considering it before shoving a hand through his hair, the chaos turning to more uncertainty now. “You know what—I, it’s too close. I need to get out of here.”

He was already slipping away, with our last practice done and Jackson going with us to Philly, this tiny fissure of truth Lana broke open had begun working its way between us.

Only when this ended badly, there’d be no new town, no grieving the friends I’d never see again. I’d be here with the pain. I’d see his sister, eventually meet her husband and baby, and I’d wonder.

When is he coming to town?

Would Lilith tell me?

Would I run into him?

Would I break?

Would people in town wonder what happened between us? If I caused it. If I hurt one of their own. Because while memories were long in a small town, they could be incredibly short too.

Tales were embellished, the villain becoming the saint and the saint becoming the villain.

And maybe the transplant becoming the outcast again.

“Okay,” I said, a jagged ball of doubt lodging in my gut.

“Don’t do that,” he snapped.

I tugged at my hand, but he only held on tighter. “What?”

“Say okay like that.” He yanked open the door of his truck and spun on me. “You never just say okay, Mayhem.”

“I’m not going to force you to be with me. You either want to or you don’t.”

Wow, so every niggling doubt I could possibly scrape from my insecurities bank was going to come out tonight apparently.

All of the things we hadn’t been saying up to that point, tired of being kept hidden in the dark.

Lana told a story and left us all spinning. Now Priest and I were tumbling through uncertainty and tiptoeing around each other in spectacular fashion, parading our insecurities like prized pigs in a 4H competition.

“This has nothing to do with wanting to be with you,” he growled, backing me up to the door, pinning me there with his fist curling in my hair and a hard, demanding kiss of his lips. “It’s—I need to get out of town.” He rolled his forehead against mine, his ragged breath fanning my cheek. “Come to the farm with me.”

I need to get out of town.

So did my mother.

It should have made me feel better that he took my hand when the urge to take off struck, but all I could think about was how easy it was for him to walk out of Banked Track and search for safety.

All because one piece of his life slid out of his tight rein of control and the man didn’t know what the hell to do with himself when it did.

What the hell would he do if everything actually went his way?

“Okay,” I said again, my every thought and feeling unpredictable as he spiraled in front of me.

“Mayhem,” he warned.

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