Page 105 of False Start

twenty-three

My chest swelledwith my labored furious breaths. My muscles seized with my initial shock at her hand cracking against my skin.

Even as I knew I deserved it.

That I’d earned it a long time ago with my first betrayal.

Knowing she should punish me again because there’d be a next time.

There was no price I wouldn’t pay to finally watch her break free.

Because taking control back, taking that freedom it gave, even if it came with a complete break with sanity and reason in the heat of the moment, meant I wouldn’t destroy her when I walked away.

And walk away I would, because no matter how hard I tried, I hadn’t figured out how to break free of my own prison and the only way to keep people I loved close was by dragging them in with me.

I’d be leaving her here safe in this town I loved before proximity could change the course she’d set for herself. Before I could tarnish the bonds she’d made and the family she’d created here.

Guilt by association would destroy what she’d built.

My atonement couldn’t restore the damage done.

The stains of the past always bled through the fabric of the present.

Maybe if I’d known then that she was in my future, I would have made different choices.

I never would have left. My brother would be alive.

And Lana wouldn’t be serving a life sentence in that chair.

The pain never really subsided. It spread through me, just waiting for moments like this when it could forge together into a hard, hot blade slicing away at me from the inside out, making me frenzied for something, anything to force it back into the recesses again.

A sweet respite in pleasure, even if it came poisoned with betrayal.

Dark driving need took over as I slammed into her wet heat.

Her body stiffened in my arms even as her tight pussy clamped on to me, pulsing despite the pinch of pain clouding her eyes at the intrusion. My cock mercilessly stole every last pocket of space while demanding more, taking more, forcing her to stretch to the brink.

Her head dropped back against the wall with a thud. Her lips broke apart on a sharp inhale just to slide into a jagged groan.

Back arched, her breasts squeezed against my chest, the clothing separating us only adding to the frustration. Her neck stretched out before me, the cords taut, bringing the tattoos to life when they slid along with each flex as the ink climbed over her skin to the roots of her hair.

Tears shimmered in her eyes and I hissed between my teeth as I fought the urge to pull back and slam into her again.

There was no relief for my pain if I had to punish her to get it.

“You did this to me,” she said, her voice breaking, the adrenaline surging through her only moments before, slowly receding as she struggled past the tears clogging her throat.

The imprint of her hand burned on my cheek. The outline of her fingers carrying the bulk of the sting.

“I know,” I said taking a ragged breath.

I hurt everyone I love.

Everyone.

“You let her in where she could hurt me,” she said as one hand pushed against my shoulder even as she sunk her nails into my ass with the other and pulled me in deeper, animosity and need warring between us.

“I’m sorry,” I rasped. “God, I’m so fucking sorry.”

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