Page 35 of Loyalty (The Salvation Society)

“I didn’t mean to interrupt. I heard you and I got a little nosey,” I admit, lifting my shoulders.

He chuckles and begins collecting the papers. “You're not interrupting. I was just working on a new song.”

“Don’t stop on my account. You were really into it,” I say, walking closer to the bed. “What’s it about?”

He grins and gets up, putting the papers into his suitcase. “It’s just a bunch of words right now. Nothing I’m ready to share,” he says.

“I’d never push you to,” I say.

“You’re up late,” he says, changing the subject.

I smile as he sits back down on the bed. “I was up working like you.”

He pats the spot next to him and just like when we sit together in the main part of the bus, my heart hammers in my chest. There’s a pull between us. Something I can’t explain or maybe something I haven’t tried to.

I sit on the bed next to him and he leans back, with his hands behind his head as he looks at me. “Are you cleaning up a mess we made?” he asks.

“I’m cleaning up what is being said about Remi. It’ll be fine, don’t worry,” I reassure him.

He reaches over and rests his hand on my thigh, squeezing lightly. “I wasn’t worried.”

We stare at each other and the air becomes thick, and our breathing becomes heavier. I can feel myself getting wet at the thoughts of what this man could do to me. It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, and when we are together like this, it’s hard not to think that way.

He moves his hand the slightest bit up my thigh and I start talking before I even realize what I’m doing.

“Have you ever had a relationship?” Humiliation hits me and I pull my legs up, causing his hand to drop off. I bury my face in my knees as I groan. “Sorry, that’s none of my business,” I say, with a muffled voice.

He runs his hand down my hair and chuckles. “You can ask me anything, Lorelei.”

I turn my head, keeping it on my knees as I look at him. He gives me a forced smile and I feel even worse about asking.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me.”

“My mom has Multiple Sclerosis. We found out when I was seventeen. I was dating a girl at the time, but the news was devastating.” He looks away from me and stares at the wall in front of us. “She didn’t understand that all my attention had to be on my mom. We needed to see doctors, figure out a plan, and medications. It was difficult for us to come to terms with at first. We didn’t know what to expect and it was scary.” He turns his head and searches my eyes. “I gave up on girls after that. My mom was my concern. She’s still my concern. The idea that I could lose her makes it almost impossible to breath. I didn’t want to get close to someone and risk losing her, too. It made sense at the time and I guess I just got into a way of life that worked for me.”

My heart literally shatters listening to him and seeing the sadness in his eyes. We’ve talked a lot, just the two of us at night. We’ve shared career dreams, talked about our friendships, even talked about the first time we ever had sex. But this conversation, this is him opening himself up to me. Letting me in.

I reach over and link my fingers with his as I move to sit right next to him. I lay my head on his shoulder, trying to keep my emotions in check. “I’m sorry to hear about your mom, Kegan. I can’t imagine how difficult that has been for you and Lane. I do know what it’s like to lose a parent though. My dad had cancer and he went from a healthy, active, fun loving dad, to a sick man I no longer knew. It was aggressive and he fought but the cancer won.” He pulls me in front of him, between his legs, and wraps his arms around me. He holds me tightly against his chest as we both think about our parents. “If your mom is anything like you, I’m confident she’ll be here a very long time. How is she?”

He pulls back, placing his fingers under my chin to keep my eyes on him. “She’s doing good. She had an MRI right after we left and there was only one new lesion, but no new problems. She takes a few different medications that seem to be doing what they should. She uses a cane, but we made sure it was one hell of a nice one.” He laughs at the thought, but he turns serious just as quickly. “I’m sorry you lost your dad.”

I look up, blinking rapidly to stop the tears, but it’s useless and two escape. He quickly wipes them away, keeping his hands on either side of my face.

“He would’ve beat your ass for the way you treated me when I first got here,” I say, laughing.

He closes his eyes and smiles. “I would’ve let him.” He opens his dark eyes, a bit of sadness shining through. “My mom would beat my ass if she knew.”

I laugh, letting my arms fall to his shoulders. “I’ll never tell.”

He laughs and the happiness returns to his eyes. I smile, loving that carefree look. “You’re the only person I’ve ever told besides the guys.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because my private life is no one else’s business and I never want my mom brought into the headlines.”

“I’d never say a word and if you ever choose to tell someone, I can always clean up any mess,” I say, joking. Though, I would do everything in my power to clean it up and I do believe he knows that.

He laughs and runs his hands down to my arms. He rubs from my elbows to my shoulders, and I briefly close my eyes, loving how relaxed it makes me. “Did losing your dad change you?” he whispers.

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