Page 41 of To the Highest Bidder

She rubbed a slender hand across her brow. He wasn’t giving up, and she suspected he wasn’t going anywhere until he got what he wanted.

“My mother died when I was young. She died shortly after giving birth to Anita. She had a stroke. I don’t remember much about her. The way she smelled – like roses on a summer morning. She liked to sing. Jazz songs, like Billie Holiday. She played piano, and she laughed – a lot.” She couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t see the pity in his face. “Losing her drove my father around the bend. I think he used to be a good dad. He was a New York City cop. Homicide squad. His job was tough, and without my mom, and with two daughters in a tiny apartment, he just kind of … lost it.” She looked around for a water, and, when she didn’t see one, reached for Jenna’s half-finished wine instead. “He held it together. In a way.” She lifted a hand and touched her cheek. “One day, when Anita was two, he left some eggs boiling on the stove.”

Carter swore, and braced himself for what he knew was coming.

Jane’s voice was just a whisper. “I saw her going to the kitchen. But I was annoyed with her.” She shook her head. “She’d been crying all night. So I ignored her, even though I knew she wasn’t allowed in there.”

He reached out for her hand but she pulled it away. “No pity. No comfort. Remember?”

He nodded. “Go on.”

“She pulled the handle. Boiling water scalded her from the top of her head to her chest.”

He swore again.

“I was watching goddamned cartoons, Carter.”

“You were what? Seven?”

“Yeah. Old enough to have been less selfish.”

He fought the urge to tell her how silly that anger was. To be cross with her seven year old self.

“My dad made it another ten years. He left us when I was seventeen. By then h

e was a pretty mean drunk, so I wasn’t especially sorry to see him go.”

“What do you mean, he left you?”

“Walked out. Went to work one day and never came home. He closed his bank accounts. He left.” Her laugh was thin. “He did leave a hundred dollar bill on the fridge, so I could at least buy a few groceries.”

Carter felt a consuming rage for the man he’d never met.

“I was never academic anyway. I dropped out of school and started working at a bar. It was a celebrity hang out. A scout noticed me, and asked me to join the agency. The money was enough to support Anita, pay her fees, and cover our bills. Plus, it left me free in the days to run the apartment. You know. Cook, clean. That sort of thing.”

His stomach turned over when he remembered his own senior school and college years. His most serious worry was how to cure a hangover and where the next frat party would be.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“Because it isn’t your problem. It’s not a problem, anyway. That’s the wrong word.” She shrugged. “Anita is the most beautiful, sweet person in the world. I adore her. Having been able to give her what she wanted most in the world – a great education – has been a privilege. And Jenna… she’s a lifesaver. We went to school together. When dad left, she moved in, and she’s been a part of our family ever since. So you see, Carter, you can’t pity me, because in all the ways that matter most, I have a great life.” She stood up, her anger returning. “And I don’t need you feeling sorry for me. Accusing me of selling my body because what? You think I’m too lazy to get a ‘real’ job? That I’m killing time until I find out what I really want to do?” She shook her head. “I’ve known what my real job is this whole time. Raising Anita.”

Carter stood too, but he didn’t dare touch her. After what she’d said, he wasn’t sure he had any right to touch her. He moved across the room, lost in thought.

“Where’s your dad now?”

“God knows. He could be dead. He might as well be, for all I care.”

He looked out of her window. It faced another apartment. “This is why you had that strong reaction to the scotch? With Karina?”

She nodded, grudgingly impressed by his recollection. “Cheap scotch was his drink of choice. To this day, I find the smell nauseating.”

He dragged a hand through his hair.

“Why did you come here tonight?” She asked his back.

“I came because I was angry. Because I am angry. Because this should not be as impossible as it feels.”

She closed her eyes. She was surprised to open them and find him standing right in front of her. His voice was laced with determination when he spoke. “I want our arrangement to continue. I want you. This doesn’t change that.”

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