Page 46 of Bound by Their Christmas Baby

‘I am hardly irrelevant, given that he sent you to spy on me.’

She brushed past his interruption impatiently. ‘But do you understand what I’m saying?’

‘I understand the excuses you’re offering.’ His eyes glittered with an emotion she didn’t understand and then, as though the words were being dragged from him, ‘I believe you were motivated by love for your father rather than hatred for me.’

‘Hatred?’ That jolted her eyes to his and she reached across the table, curving her palm over his. ‘It was never about hatred for you. Even before I met you I was fascinated by you, Gabe. Your…dynamism and success, your work ethic, your lifestyle.’ She blushed. ‘You were my polar opposite in every way. It didn’t take much convincing when my dad suggested I meet you…’

He swallowed, his throat bunching beneath her gaze. ‘And yet you still came with the intention of finding whatever information you could and taking it back to your father?’

She bit down on her lip, nodding slowly.

At his look of disapproval, she rushed to add, ‘But only at first. Gabe, fifteen minutes into knowing you and there was no way I was going to go through with it.’

She withdrew her hand, the intimacy feeling discordant suddenly. ‘I slept with you because I wanted to,’ she said with quiet insistence.

‘You wanted me? You wanted Calypso.’

‘No!’ She shook her head to emphatically refute him. ‘Gabe, you have to believe me. Us sleeping together, that was… Didn’t you feel it?’

‘Feel what, tempesta?’ he challenged stonily, every cell in his body closed to her, the definition of immovable.

Still, having come this far, Abby urged herself to be honest. ‘A connection,’ she said, her eyes landing on his. ‘I felt something for you the instant you spoke to me, the second we first touched, when you made me laugh… I wanted you to be my first lover,’ she promised. ‘Because of who you were to me, not to Dad, nor to the world.’

He was quiet, appraising her words from every angle.

‘You told me you simply wanted to rid yourself of your tiresome virginity,’ he pointed out.

Inwardly she winced, wishing she could take back that excuse. She’d said it to save some pride, but now she wanted to dispel that idea. ‘You don’t think I’d been smiled at by handsome men before?’ she asked. ‘You don’t think I’d had ample opportunities to “rid myself” of my virginity in the past?’

He stared at her long and hard, his cheeks darkening with a flush of emotion. ‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘It made little sense to me on that night; it still doesn’t.’

‘I had no interest in sex,’ she said simply. ‘I was too busy with ballet—my schedule was pretty intensive—and then, by the time I gave it up, when it came to intimacy I felt like a fish out of water. All my friends had been in several relationships, and the guys I met were obviously way more experienced. I was…embarrassed.’

‘You weren’t with me.’

‘Because I felt like I knew you,’ she said with urgency. Had he truly not felt that same sense of familiarity?

‘Abigail—’ he sighed heavily, dragging his fingertips through his hair ‘—I think you need to be careful here.’

‘Careful how?’ she prompted.

‘You speak like a classic romantic,’ he said, his smile bordering on mocking. ‘A connection. As though I was some fated Prince Charming riding into town to win your heart.’ He laughed, a harsh sound, but that same heart ratcheted up a gear, his description unknowingly hitting on how she had felt at the time. ‘We are going to get married, for our son. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt—even if a small part of me thinks you are simply reaping what you sowed a year ago.’

Pain scored Abby deep in her heart and her veins turned to ice as crisply cold as the snow outside. ‘I’ve tried to explain—’

‘Damn it! Abigail, listen to me.’ He softened his tone with obvious effort. ‘You will never be able to explain what you did. What you intended to do. I appreciate that you didn’t follow through with what your father wanted, but you came to me with one purpose—betrayal. Nothing that happened beyond that matters. Had you not fallen pregnant, if we didn’t share a son, we wouldn’t be sitting across a table having this conversation. Or any conversation. You understand that, don’t you?’

She sat frozen to the spot, her heart thumping inside her the only sign of life. His words were shredding her into tiny pieces and uncertainty lurched all around her. ‘How can you say that?’ she asked quietly, digging her fingernails into her palms. ‘After what we shared the other day?’

His smile was almost sympathetic. ‘For your own good, try to remember that sex and love are two very distinct sides of a coin.’

His words ran around her head like an angry tornado. She didn’t believe it was love, necessarily, but it was more than just great sex. When they were together she felt as if she could trust him with her life; she felt as if everything made sense. Didn’t he feel that too? Or did he always feel that?

‘I guess I wouldn’t know,’ she said after a moment, hoping she didn’t sound as confus

ed as she felt. ‘You, on the other hand, have plenty of experience.’

‘Yes.’ The word was a crisp agreement. He reached over and topped up Abby’s wine; she hadn’t even realised she’d been sipping it as they spoke. ‘Was he angry when you went home empty-handed?’

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