Page 58 of Summer At Willow Tree Farm

‘Alicia was a twenty-six-year-old woman and you were seventeen when you first started screwing each other on a regular basis, so I think you’re kidding yourself if you think you seduced her.’

Dee’s crude assessment of his affair with Alicia was a slap to his pride, but the revelation that Dee had known about them from the start added a nice thick layer of humiliation.

‘You didn’t mess up Alicia,’ Dee stressed. ‘She had serious addiction issues, which she made no effort to solve. You did the right thing kicking her out and Toto is better off because of it.’

Was she? There was something Ellie had shouted at him her first day on the farm that had been torturing him ever since. And he couldn’t hold on to his guilt about that a moment longer.

‘Toto wants to be a boy,’ he said. ‘How is that better off?’ His daughter had gender identity issues for Chrissake.

‘Toto doesn’t want to be a boy,’ Dee said, dismissing his fears with an impatient flick of her wrist. ‘She wants to be like you. But, even if she did want to be a boy, why would that be a bad thing?’

‘Because she’s not one?’ Wasn’t it obvious? What exactly were they talking about now? This was precisely why he didn’t get involved in these sorts of conversations. They never made any sense.

‘Does Toto strike you as a child who is unhappy in her own skin?’ Dee asked him sternly.

‘No… I… I guess not.’

‘Then stop talking nonsense.’ She glanced at his plate. ‘Are you going to finish that?’

He scooped another forkful of salad, grateful that they weren’t talking about his failings as a father any more. Or about Ellie. Because even if Dee was OK with what had happened nineteen years ago, he didn’t think she would be OK with what had happened last night.

He ate in silence. His appetite returned as he shovelled the cacophony of salad flavours into his mouth, chewed off another bite of the lamb.

Everyone was packing the tables and chairs away in the farmyard. He scanned the shadows for Ellie, but couldn’t find her. His stomach dipped as a light turned on in the farmhouse kitchen. He scraped the plate.

Dee stood and took it from him. ‘Can I ask you a favour?’

‘Sure,’ he said, hoping it wasn’t going to involve any more in-depth discussions about his past screw ups.

‘We need you to be project manager.’

‘Rob can do it. I can offer to handle the milking. I don’t have time to…’

‘Can’t you make time?’ Dee cut through the excuse with a smile of encouragement. ‘Ellie’s under a huge amount of pressure with this project. She’s handling all the permits and licences, trying to sort out a grant with the Rural Enterprise Advisor, liaising with the FARMA rep, speaking to the council about getting all the certificates we need to confirm the planning situation, working out produce rotas and me, her and Tess are going to be spending two days in Somerset next week at an intensive farm-shop management course. On top of all that, she’s emotionally fragile, she’s come here while in the middle of divorcing her husband.’

She’s what? A shot of adrenaline had his just-eaten meal dancing in time with his pulse.

‘Now that you’re speaking to each other again–’ Dee was still talking while his mind reeled from the news ‘–there’s nothing stopping you from working together. Rob hasn’t got anywhere near as much experience as you. So you’re the best one to take on the project manager’s role.’

What could he say? He’d just got through acknowledging how much Dee meant to him. He’d never be able to repay her for all the support she’d shown him over the years. And she was right, on paper he looked like the perfect fit for the job.

But the next five weeks would be hell. Not only would he have to pull eighteen-hour days to keep the project on schedule and make sure he didn’t slip up with this, the way he’d slipped up with the farm’s financials, but Ellie would be there with him, every step of the way. Ellie and her lips promising that tart, sexy taste that he had not been able to resist last night. How would he stand it?

But then Dee said: ‘Please, Art, do this for me.’ And he knew he couldn’t refuse.

‘OK.’

‘Thank you.’ Dee leant down and kissed his forehead. ‘Do you want to come down and tell Ellie now? She’ll be so pleased.’

He shook his head. He doubted that. And, if by some miracle she was, she might get out the sloe gin again to celebrate and then where would they be?

‘You tell her. I can go over the logistics tomorrow while we finish clearing out the barn.’ And when he’d be guaranteed to have an audience of at least twelve people.

‘We? So you’re joining us for the rest of the clear-out?’ Dee sounded so pleased, he felt like even more of a fraud.

‘If I’m going to be project manager, I need to get acquainted with my crew.’ And keep busy enough to forget about one of them. ‘I think I’ll stay in the van tonight,’ he added.

Dee nodded. She was used to him sleeping up here on his own when he needed a people break and he certainly needed one now. He’d originally built the thing for Toto’s sixth birthday, so they could have some father–daughter bonding time away from everyone. They’d roast marshmallows, get tucked up in their sleeping bags, and he’d usually nod off while he listened to Toto’s motormouth commentary on her latest favourite book or TV show, because with Toto there was rarely a gap in the conversation. But they hadn’t used it much in the last few years, and they hadn’t been up here at all this summer, not since Josh had arrived.

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