Page 29 of Just Like in the Movies

‘You know, Marcus, the dorky kid who shows Hugh Grant’s shallow wanker in About a Boy that the Will Show is actually an ensemble drama. We need Luke Devlin to become part of our ensemble drama, ASAP, if he’s gonna fork up two million quid to save us.’

?

??Strictly speaking, it isn’t Nicholas Hoult’s Marcus who turns Grant’s Will Freeman into a good guy,’ Claire their main cashier said, ever the film pedant. ‘It’s Rachel Weisz remember, because he wants to shag her.’

‘No, that’s much later in the movie, at first he wants to shag the nice Irish neighbour lady with the baby, so he pretends to have a kid.’ This from Imran, one of their bar staff who was even more pedantic than Claire about movie trivia.

‘What about the school talent show?’ Gerry countered. ‘That’s when Will really turns into a good guy because he can’t let Marcus survive that humiliation alone.’

‘Yes, but—’ Claire began again.

‘Can we stop talking about Hugh Grant and all the women he wants to shag in About a Boy,’ Ruby interrupted the game of film-buff-one-upmanship. ‘This isn’t a movie. And Luke Devlin’s not Hugh Grant …’

Except …

She sat down heavily in an armchair, her mind racing. Beryl and Jacie’s idea was insane … Wasn’t it?

Even if Luke didn’t find some slick way to wiggle out of the community service order, or have Benjy arrested for being a bent magistrate, what were the chances he even knew what an ensemble drama was?

He’d helped her out at the Serpentine when he didn’t have to, but that had been under duress.

Her gaze fell on the posters Beryl had brought with her for the talent show they were arranging to go with their Matty Classics’ gala screening of About a Boy on Saturday.

Hugh Grant’s Will had been a hopeless cause, too – his inner ensemble drama buried under a whole movie full of super sarcastic voice-over narration – but Nick Hoult’s nerdy bullied Marcus had eventually inducted Will into his alternative family. And it had only taken him an hour and forty-one minutes. The Royale would have three hundred hours to work on finding Luke Devlin’s sentimental side.

‘Admit it, there’s a chance it could work?’ Jacie said, interrupting Ruby’s racing thoughts.

‘It’s a super slim chance,’ Ruby said, but for the first time in weeks, the tightness in her chest eased.

Maybe it was a super slim chance, but it was also their only chance …

The flat’s bell chimed the opening bars from Barbra Streisand’s ‘Memories’, making all six of them jump and interrupting Ruby’s desperate burst of hope.

‘Can you get that, Tozer?’ she said to the forty-something unemployed theatre dresser who Errol had taken on as an apprentice projectionist four months ago to help out when his arthritis was playing up. Tozer had been sitting glumly in the corner of the sofa during the whole debate, probably contemplating the possibility of being out of work again in a few months’ time.

‘It might be the supplier from Gourmet Snacks,’ Ruby added. Yet another person she owed money to. ‘If it is just sign for the order,’ she said. ‘And tell him I’ll transfer the money I owe him on Friday.’ Once she had established some cashflow from the ticket sales for their About a Boy event. Hopefully.

Tozer nodded and left.

Ruby was still trying to get her head around all the possible ramifications of Luke’s community service order while Beryl joined the how-many-women-did-Hugh-Grant-attempt-to-cop-off-with-in-About a Boy debate, when Tozer popped his head back round the apartment door.

‘Ruby, it’s him,’ he hissed. ‘He’s down in the foyer. He wants to see you.’

‘Who?’ she asked, but she was pretty sure she already knew who because a Mariachi band had started a set in her abdomen.

‘Luke Devlin, the Falcone Reboot, who do you think?’ Tozer said, but his sarcasm was not matched by the vivid blush setting fire to his cheeks.

Jacie bounced up. ‘No way? Already. He’s keen.’

Gerry swore softly. ‘Keen to tell us where we can shove our repairs, more like.’

‘Calm down,’ Ruby said, even as her own About a Boy fantasies took a hit. Had Luke come to tell them he wasn’t doing the community service? That had to be it, why else would he have turned up here so quickly. ‘Let’s find out what he wants first.’

After getting everyone to promise to stay put so she could scope out the Luke situation in private – which earned her a ‘you go, girl’ from Beryl – she took the flat’s stairs to the lobby area.

As she opened the door, she spotted Luke with his back to her, crouched in the corner by the main entrance, checking out the peeling paintwork.

The Mariachi band jiggled her tonsils.

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