Page 42 of His Best Mistake

But he must have thanked the doctor because she nodded, smiled and moved on, and it was then his legs gave way. Feeling himself begin to collapse, he sank down onto a chair, shudders suddenly gripping his frame as the adrenaline disappeared, leaving nothing but a giant, dark pit of chaos in its wake.

The last two hours had been horrendous. He could barely remember the journey to the hospital, apart from the fact it had been quick. Heaven knew how many speed limits he’d broken. By the time he’d screeched to a halt at the entrance to the hospital Stella was in so much pain she couldn’t walk. He’d had to carry her. Driven by pure fear and panic, he’d located the obstetrics department and demanded to be seen and to hell with the fact that it was one in the morning. He’d issued orders and threats, and within minutes Stella had been put in a private room and a team of doctors had been on its way.

Then all he’d been able to do was wait. And it had been horrific. The smell of the place… The harsh fluorescent lighting… The beeps coming from the machine she’d been hooked up to…

Stella might be all right now, thank God, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t all right at all. He was falling apart and it had nothing to do with memories of Mia, that heartbreaking week or the loss of her and their baby. His head had no space for that. It was too filled with Stella, who was all he could think about now, all he cared about.

And not just because of the baby. Even if there was no baby he’d still care. It wasn’t mere lust he felt for her, he realised with a blinding flash of clarity that exploded inside him and stole his breath. It was more than that, way more. He hadn’t meant for it to happen and he didn’t know how it had, but nevertheless, somehow, she’d come to mean something to him. The terror he’d felt when he’d seen her at his door had been gut-wrenching because in that split second he’d seen the future without her in it and it looked so very bleak.

And God, he thought, a cold sweat breaking out all over his skin as his breath caught, he couldn’t do it again. He just couldn’t. The agony should it all go wrong… The helplessness and the rage. He’d barely survived the last time. If he had to go through it again he didn’t think he would.

So what was he to do?

He couldn’t keep Stella close any more – that much was obvious. The threat she posed to his very survival was simply too great. He needed distance. Time to get these feelings under control before they had the chance to develop into something infinite and irreversible. He couldn’t have her around right now. She was too dangerous. He had to send her home.

*

Thank God everything was all right, thought Stella, looking at the printout of the scan and tracing the outline of the baby. Not that she probably wouldn’t be spending the next six months pretty bloody terrified, but at least for now, the lime was safe. She’d been tested to the nth degree, had had scans of practically every inch of her, all of which were clear, and she didn’t think she’d ever felt relief like it.

Jack had been amazing last night. She might have been helpless with panic but he hadn’t been shocked into inaction. He’d known exactly what to do, grabbing her things and taking her out to the car after the ambulance service had told him that she didn’t qualify as an emergency and therefore they’d send one when they could although it might not be for a while.

At the hospital he’d taken complete control of the situation and she’d been seen within minutes. The authoritative way he’d handled everything had been incredible, especially since the whole experience must have been awful for him. She couldn’t imagine the memories all this must have stirred up. The sheer terror on his face when he’d realised what was going on had been unbearable to witness. His knuckles had been white on the steering wheel, and in between wincing in pain her heart had turned over for him. However bad an experience this had been for her, it must have been ten times worse for him.

If only there was something she could do to make it better, she thought as she swallowed down the lump tightening her throat. It tore at her heart to think about what he must be going through. No one wanted to see the person they loved in such agony.

And she did love him, she realised suddenly, her pulse spiking and her breath catching as it hit her. She adored him. How could she not? He was everything she admired, everything she’d ever wanted. He was the strongest, best man she’d ever met. He was on her team, loyal, protective, there for her and he’d bought her a birthday present.

But how did Jack feel about her? she wondered, her heart thumping crazi

ly and her blood pounding in her ears. It was clear he desired her and enjoyed her company, but could it be more than that? Was there even the remotest possibility he might feel the same way as she did?

All those moments they’d shared… The way she’d caught him looking at her… The faint smiles he’d given her… And then the things he’d done for her. The lengths he’d gone to. He’d told her things and held her hand. It all had to mean something, didn’t it?

And if it did, did they have a future beyond that of simply being parents? She failed to see why not. Yes, there were pretty massive obstacles they’d have to navigate but they weren’t insurmountable. If she and Jack continued to talk, as they had been doing so well recently, they could handle them. They could handle anything.

At the thought that they might actually have a chance of making something of whatever this currently was, Stella went dizzy and closed her eyes. Could she have actually got it right this time? Could she have beaten her demons once and for all? Could her dreams of having a man to love and a family really be within her grasp? God, she hoped so.

She heard the door open, and she opened her eyes to see Jack standing there, watching her, his expression totally unreadable, and her heart turned over with the love she felt for him.

“Hi,” she said softly, aching with the realisation that he looked awful, haggard and pale, maybe even more so now than earlier.

“Hi,” he said, a bit remotely but then that wasn’t a surprise given everything he must have been through tonight. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better. The painkillers have kicked in and it’s such a relief to know that everything’s OK.”

“They want to keep you in overnight.”

“For observation. I know. Although there isn’t that much of the night left, is there?”

“Not a lot.” He rubbed a hand over his face wearily and she wished she could take him in her arms and just hold him until it all went away. “Tomorrow I’ll take you home.”

Home, she thought dreamily. Didn’t that sound lovely? His apartment might be a bit on the masculine side with its white walls and black furniture but that could be fixed. A couple of brightly coloured scatter cushions here, a vase with some freshly cut flowers there. She could have it feeling warmer and cosier in no time. And then she could maybe begin to think about creating a nursery…

Oh, it wouldn’t be easy, but they had time and she certainly had the motivation. They could make this work. She was sure of it.

“London will seem a bit boring after all this,” she said, her smile deepening.

His gaze met hers and he seemed to turn even paler, and for some bizarre reason goosebumps broke out all over her skin. “I don’t mean London.”

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