Page 18 of His Best Mistake

“Go on.”

“There’s no easy way do this, so I’ll just come out and say it.” She straightened her spine and took a deep breath. “Jack,” she said, feeling as if she was standing on the edge of a cliff and about to take a step right off it, “I’m pregnant.”

Chapter Six

For a moment Jack thought he must have misheard. He must have. It was the only explanation, and an entirely logical one as he hadn’t exactly been firing on all cylinders since Stella had arrived. She’d stepped out of that lift and he’d taken one look at her, felt an urgent need to haul her into his arms and kiss the daylights out of her, and all he’d been able to think was: who exactly had he been trying to kid when he’d thought she wouldn’t have any effect on him?

It didn’t matter how brief the time they’d spent together had been, nor how much time had passed since. The memories that had cascaded into his head when he’d taken her arm and led her into his office were as clear and detailed as if it had been only yesterday, and the desire that had surged inside him was as strong as it had ever been. Maybe even stronger. With all that going on inside him he’d become rather distracted and so he could well have misunderstood.

Except he hadn’t.

Stella was now holding a hand to her abdomen and as realisation dawned, her words belatedly slammed into his head and suddenly he couldn’t move a muscle. The guilt and the desire fled. He went icily numb. The walls of his office seemed to be closing in on him. His head spun. He felt like he was suffocating. He couldn’t breathe.

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

The word raced round his brain as if on an interminable loop, faster and faster until he thought he was going to black out. If he hadn’t been sitting down he would have.

“Congratulations,” he heard himself say absurdly.

“Thank you.”

“Whose?”

“Yours.”

“Are you certain?”

She nodded. “I checked the dates. It couldn’t be anyone else’s.”

“Impossible.”

“Apparently not. Condoms can fail. I’m six weeks along, the doctor said, give or take a day or two.”

Six weeks. Six weeks.

“Are you keeping it?” he asked, his mouth dry, his throat as rough as sandpaper.

“I thought I would,” she replied, sounding so cool, so in control, whereas he could hardly be less in control. He was beginning to feel like he was drowning. His blood was pounding in his ears. He felt weak and sick with dread.

“I realise the circumstances aren’t ideal,” she was continuing, “but I’ve always wanted children. I’m twenty-nine and financially stable. It’s not exactly the way I’d have chosen to go about it, but now it’s happened, well…” she shrugged “…it’s happened. I don’t expect anything from you, Jack. I truly don’t. I’m just telling you because it seemed like the right thing to do.”

“I see,” he said, but he didn’t see anything at all. She sounded so blasé about it, but how had it happened? How? The first woman he’d slept with since Mia had died and this was his punishment? And the danger she was in… God, he couldn’t even think about that.

“You can decide what kind of father you want to be,” she was saying. “You can be as involved as you wish. If you don’t want to be involved at all, if it’s all too complicated with Cora and things, then that’s fine too. The ball is entirely in your court.”

She stopped, clearly waiting for him to respond with something, but he didn’t know how to. He couldn’t speak. His brain had collapsed and noise was rushing through his head. He could feel himself shutting down like a giant machine being switched off and slowly grinding to a halt and he couldn’t do a thing to stop it. He had to get her out of here before he lost it completely.

Where he found the strength Jack had no idea but somehow he managed to stand up and thrust his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “Thank you for letting me know,” he said, and his voice sounded cold and distant, as if it was coming from a million miles away.

“No problem,” said Stella, getting to her feet too and holding something out to him. “Here’s my card.” He took it dumbly and looked down at it but all the letters and n

umbers were jumping about and he just couldn’t make head or tail of any of it. “I realise this must have come as a huge shock, Jack, but when you’re ready to talk, if you want to talk, give me a call. In the meantime, I’ll see myself out.”

*

How long Jack stood there staring at the door through which Stella had left he couldn’t have said. Time meant nothing. It was like he was in a vacuum, frozen, unaware of the sounds of life beyond the four walls of his office, unaware of anything.

Eventually, though, his knees gave way and he fell back down to the sofa. He buried his head in his hands and closed his eyes, and tried to keep the memories at bay, but his defences were weak and didn’t stand a chance. They smashed through the barriers he’d erected and flew into his head, memories of another woman, another pregnancy and heartbreaking, soul-wrenching tragedy.

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